Ben Shepard

August 2001

Well, I just read the first draft of this article, and boy did it suck! I was spending all this time going off about this one guy (and I do not mean Brian from the last two months) that I have developed another crush on. This time however, I was actually able to figure out why I liked this guy. But now I know that it is not going to go anywhere. And do you know why? Because he likes...(pause for dramatic effect) GIRLS!!! *shudder* To make matters even worse, he picks a real gem of a bitch.

Allow me to explain to everyone, though everyone already knows how true this is, why crushes suck so much.

First of all, you need a boy (or a girl for those interested) and for the sake of the argument, we will call him Dylan. Make eye contact with Dylan, don't you just love those chocolate brown eyes?!? Next, begin to look Dylan over: the nice runner's build, the mussed up brown hair, the perfect height(5 foot 8 inches). Oh well, decides the twitterpated twink, "It is just a physical attraction, that is all there is to it. It's better to wait and find out what he is like before the head goes over the heels". So, the prelude to this statement to get to know Dylan really well. Now, here is where all of your fears, questions, doubts, and denials all come towards you like the proverbial floodgate. Is he looking at me? Is he gay? Does he suspect that I am looking longingly at him? Does he like me? Why would he ever go out with me? Look at the way he is dancing with that girl. What does he see in her? She is so wearing contacts-Who has purple eyes naturally? God, she dresses like such a whore! And, finally you come to the God-awful truth: HE IS STRAIGHT!!!!!!! Halleluiah, let the angels sing! Another one has chosen the path of righteousness, and decides to screw a girl rather than a boy.

Okay, I am depressing myself way too much over this. Especially when NO ONE should ever worry themselves too much about any crush. If someone can't like you for your faults, are they really worth it?

Okay, I really don't mean offense to all Christians, but the really pushy ones are really starting to piss me off. I was reading the newest Newsweek in my dad's car, and it was all about the whole Christian Rock scene. On the third page was this girl wearing a t-shirt that said "Abortion is homocide". Why the hell do people like her feel the need to try to impose their morals and ethics upon others? God, just let people live their lives, with their own beliefs. You can think that they will go to hell if you want, if it makes you feel any better. Personally, I don't believe there is such a place. Does that mean the whole idea is cancelled out? I'm not even going to talk about the whole anti-gay mentality, you probably know how little old me feels about such a subject.

Finally, since August is upon us, I am, at last, 18 years old(as of August 22, anyway) So, I would greatly appreciate a little note just to say happy birthday to me. Well, I guess that is all for now. Later, and think whatever you want to think (if you want to even think about it).



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