Not the way it should be

By Jo, skyslark@hotmail.com

you wake up slowly
your hair messy,
short enough that you get that punky look
I can barely resist reaching out to touch you
you smile wearily
and stretch
your lips are so smooth
and deep red
I want to trace them with a finger tip
I keep my hands clutched tightly on the steering wheel
and smile tightly
are we almost there? you ask
we're on our way to see your honey
who moved
I wish you were on your way to see me

you see him
and rush into his arms
and kiss him
and I wish
you were kissing me
and stroking my hair
but you're not
and he leads you inside
as I stand on the sidewalk
so I drive to our hotel room
and check in
and I wait up
but you don't come home that night

the next afternoon
you come
glowing and fresh
wearing the same clothes you wore last night
I can't look at you
because all I can think of when I see you
is you and him
and I want to cry

and as we drive home
he is all you can talk about
and how beautiful he is
(I think you're beautiful)
and how he's perfect
(I think you're perfect)
and how he might be THE one
(you are MY one)
and I can't speak
and I want to cry again
but I chew my lip and stare
out the window

and a month later he breaks up with you
and you come to me
and I hold you in my arms
and stroke your hair
and I love it
and I feel guilty
because i wish it were like that
that I could comfort me
and we fall asleep on my couch
and that morning we wake up
but not the way it should be.

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