September 2001

Ha-zahh for complete reversals.<does giddy queerboy jig> Ok, so the last two months, in Oasis anyways, have been a little less than gleamingly optimistic. But, hey, things have changed. Dramatically. And I feel like such a queen for saying that but pfft. I'm generally better, wordwise, focusing on darkness and negativity, because, hey that's how change comes about. And it seems that that has been proven true.

Now, during June and July, when my other articles were written, I had been having SOME fun, and with me fun is a joyously dirty word. But with August, I'm can boast that my summer was sex, drugs, and rock n roll, and not necessarily in that order. So it feels like my entire general feeling about, who else, myself has changed. I don't want to say outlook, or anything to that effect because my outlooks and opinions are still the same. But it just feels like my days have more...something in them. And it makes me feel so good.

It's not the pot either, because I have a high tolerance for it. Alcohol's different but we'll get back into underaged drugs later. Definitely. With my boyfriend. <Gasp> Boyfriend? My God, did I finally manage to drug a poor unlucky soul and chain him to my wall? Not against his will... That's what this is...I got ma-self someone to hold onto. <choir of angels>.

What I once thought was only a tease has finally come through. And god, what timing. I'm not going to talk about my "hehe" though, because when I was single (a time too close to be referred to as 'back when') I fucking hated hearing about everybody else's boyfriend or girlfriend. And I'm aware of at least one other person who has the same distaste, however gracious he may be.

So, I'm off to see the wizard. And I just realized that had connotations with Judy Garland so I want to point out how unintentional that was. <Shudder> This article is merely my way of exclaiming my joy as loudly as I can in this comfy closet of mine. More comfy now because there's two boys in my closet, and we know how to entertain ourselves. Don't expect me to be shiny happy in the rest of my articles though. People still piss me off and hey, it's a whole new school year.

I'm turning 17 in November, which I'm sure will inspire me to write some sort of fear-filled essay that will make anyone over 18 laugh at my anxiety. But, now I can stop referring to myself as hopeless and unwanted and a lot of other thesaurus words because I found my comfort. And in a faux-pride cliche move, let me serve as inspiration to those who felt the same. Just as a sort of topper, I'll add this: I am an insomniac, getting to 2 or 3 AM is not a problem. But whenever I had been with my boy, I slept incredibly comfortably, at 11 or 12. Sweetness. Gotta go ice skate in Hell now, since I think it's thoroughly frozen over. Weeeeeee...

Look out behind you.



:} evil grins to all who are deserving,


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