Pick Up Lines on Attached People

By Richard Libby
January 1996

One thing that annoys me more than anything is people trying to flirt with my husband. It bothers me even more when they do it while I'm standing less than three feet away and the person knows we're together.

In Maine, you wouldn't think anything like this could happen -- but you'd be wrong. There are five major parts of Portland: The Eastern Prom (conservative, nice place to live), the Western Prom (where we stress the gay and lesbian community), Munjoy Hill (not a great place to stress your same-sex relationship) and downtown (big buildings, nice walking) and the Old Port (cute shops, nice shopping, good bargains, historical).

Mostly, me and my husband go to the Western Promenade after a hard day of working at the Referendum One campaign (for those who are unaware, its also called VOTE NO on 1, the Maine Gay Rights Referendum). We would just walk around together on nice summer nights. Jack and I are young'ns -- I am in my late teens, and Jack is just hitting 21. So, we would walk, look at "cruisers" and "lookers" and just talk.

One day, as we were heading back to our car, we noticed someone we recognized from Outright Portland by our car. We all started talking and eventually he and Jack were talking and totally ignoring me. Later, I learned Jack hadn't noticed what was actually going on, but I realized quickly and became enraged. We went to Outright frequently and stressed being a couple and there was this person, Pete (name protected) flirting and trying to pick up MY boyfriend right there. The nerve!

I tried clearing my throat a few times and once or twice I kicked Jack in the foot to get him aware, but he just kept talking, telling about 90 percent of our life and about himself. We were standing there for 45 minutes and I had said something maybe once or twice. They got on the topic of ex-boyfriends. Pete stressed the fact that I was a slut having two ex's. I was perturbed when I thought about it, but I didn't want to start anything by screaming, so I got a real big attitude and looked at Jack and said, "Give me the keys, I am going to sit in the car." I was sitting in the car for a little while when Jack finally reappeared. I was blasting the music so loud, I couldn't hear what he was saying to me.

After Jack telling a total stranger whom we have only seen once or twice his life story, I was quite angry and not in the slightest mood to talk to anyone. I was close to crying at that point thinking of what kind of person would try and pick up your boyfriend right in front of you! Pete had a reputation as well for doing such things. Then again, so did his boyfriend. Yes, his boyfriend. When I saw Bill (again, protected), I came real close to asking what kind of a tramp he was seeing, but being the one to just smile and be all cheery, I didn't say much.

Let me tell you how much of an insult that day was to me. To this day, it's clear in my mind the motive of that person. After Jack realized what was going on, he was quite upset as well. (A 757 could park itself in our house and Jack would ask where we got the new furniture, that's how fast things fly over his head.) Nonetheless, I am not sure if things such as these have happened to other people, but I found it most rude, mean, insulting, crude and a downright kick in the royal rump. You know that when you become jealous over someone taking away someone you love, that it's a strong passion and it's love.

Ever since then, things have progressed. I thought I was jealous. Whenever some cute dude came up and talked with me at the campaign or tried to strike up a conversation, well... lets just say Jack was right there. And if he wasn't around, when he heard he became quiet -- but I was the receptionist, so, it was my job to be social. Let me end this on a last note: If something is yours, it's yours, and no one else's.

If a lollipop was yours, you wouldn't let anyone else suck on it. Would you?

Richard Libby, 16, is a student at SHS in Maine where he is studying Speech and Debate. He and his husband, Jack Libby, run VMI Systems, a Nationwide Voicemail and Answering Service Telecommunications Service. Richard can be contacted online at VMIS@SERVER.SEIS.COM.
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