Why me?

By Mike Austin

Deep in the night
silent in thought
i lie awake

my mind is drifting
wandering through the night
through the darkness

and there you are
suddenly, my mind stops wandering
and my thoughts are no longer silent
they're flowing swiftly,
and saying something
what are they doing?

are they laughing?
are they crying?
shouting or whispering?
are they yelling?

they're singing

my thoughts sing when i think of you?
why? how?

why are they singing?

i lie awake,
in the dark of night,
asking myself, why?

and through the infinite, endless night,
the answer comes to me

i like you
what? me? like you?

i'm attracted to you
me? how? NO!

it can't be!
i'm not that way!
i can't be attracted to you!
it's wrong!

i want to run

and suddenly,
the darkness of night materializes
trapping me
with my thoughts

my mind runs in circles

i want you
but why?
why me?
why now?

a question echoes endlessly in my mind,
Why me?

and yet, an answer comes,
or maybe a question,

a new question rises in me,

Why not?

Composed at 12:28am, 4/6/96

Mike Austin, 16, lives in Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla., where he's a high school sophomore. He can be reached at mike15@usa.pipeline.com.
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