OUT Columnist/Author needs gay men for book project

Attention: Gay men of all ages
From: Michelangelo Signorile (angel@pipeline.com) [Author and columnist for OUT MAGAZINE]
Re: My next book project

The questionnaire below is for the purposes of research for my next book, which will look at the different ways gay men today are navigating sex, love, friendships, family, spirituality and growing older. Should you choose to help me in this project, it will mean taking out 15 or 20 minutes and thoughtfully and honestly filling out the questionnaire and sending it back to me at angel@pipeline.com.

I'm interested in getting a feel for how men are dealing with these issues; I may ask some of the respondents for a more formal interview (with or without their true names used in the text, whichever they prefer), but for the purposes of this questionnaire your name is not necessary and will not be used (the only way I could or would use anyone's name is if he signed a release form).

In the space provided at the end, you may leave me your e-mail address so that I may contact you if need be for a more lengthy on-the-record (or not, your choice) interview, if that is something that you would be interested in. Thanks very much for participating in this valuable project, which will try to map out for the larger gay male community the many different ways that men are leading their lives.

Please do not, however, fill out the questionnaire unless you intend to be completely open and honest. All of the information will be strictly confidential, so please do not be embarrassed about being truthful, or fearful that any information will be divulged to anyone else. It's very important that the information be accurate and thorough.

Thanks again.

City/Town/Locality and State:

  1. Have you ever been (or are you still) married to someone of the opposite sex, and do you have children from that marriage?

  2. Are you "out" to family, specifically parents? If so, for how long? If not, do you plan on coming out to them, and, if so, when?

  3. Do you see yourself as having an ongoing relationship with family members in the future, allowing them to be a part of your gay life, meeting your gay friends and/or lovers and partners? Explain in depth and with examples if possible.

  4. Are you "out" at school/work? If not, do you plan on coming out at work, and, if so, when?

  5. Are you in what you would consider a "relationship" with another man? If not, go directly to question 18. If so, answer questions 6-17 and then skip questions 18-26 unless they do apply to your individual circumstances (i.e., if you are in an open relationship, etc.)

  6. How long have you been together, how old is this person, and how would you characterize this relationship (i.e. "lovers," "life-partners," "friends who are in love," etc.?

  7. Do you live together?

  8. If not, do you plan on moving in together at some point in the future (skip the question if you do already live together)?

  9. Do you have children together or have you thought about it or about "co-parenting" with a lesbian couple, adopting children or having children through any other means?

  10. Do you have an agreement to be sexually monogamous?

  11. If yes, do you find yourself breaking that agreement and do you think your partner does or doesn't also?

  12. If no, what is your agreement regarding sex outside the relationship, and please be detailed?

  13. How often do you have sex with each other in a given week?

  14. How often do you have sex with people outside the relationship (if applicable)?

  15. What is the single issue that is most problematic in your relationship, the issue that creates the most tension?

  16. Does your partner know your family and how do they get along?

  17. Do you envision that you will be together for a long time, or do you see yourself with someone else in a few years?

    The following questions were designed for those who are not in relationships, however, if some or all of the questions apply to you and you are in a relationship, please answer them.

  18. Is a relationship something you would like, and if so, would it tend to be monogamous or non-monogamous?

  19. If you do want to be a relationship, do you think you would want to have children within that relationship and do you think you ever will?

  20. If you do not want to be in a relationship, have you thought about having children as a single parent?

  21. Do you engage in anonymous sex (rest rooms, pick-ups on the street, bars and nightclubs, sex clubs, bathhouses)? If so, how often.

  22. Do go to bars to meet men, and if so, do you meet people there and go home with them for sex? If so, how often.

  23. Do you "date," and if so what is your pattern and where do you meet the men you date? Please explain here what a "date" means, specifically where you go, etc.?

  24. In general (and even if this sounds like a repeat of previous questions), how do you meet potential romantic or sexual partners?

  25. Do you find it easy or hard to meet potential romantic or sexual partners?

  26. How would you describe your body and overall looks?

  27. Do you work out at a gym regularly, and if so, how often?

  28. How do you feel about the focus in the gay male community on youth, beauty and muscles? Is it any different from the straight world, and if so, how?

  29. Do you consider yourself a spiritual person and are you associated with any particular religion and/or church or synagogue? Explain in depth your religious beliefs and convictions, if applicable, and how you a have reconciled them with your sexuality.

  30. How do you feel about growing older in the gay community, and how do you feel younger gay men treat older gay men?

Please feel free to add any other comments you may have.

If you would like to be interviewed further, please put your e-mail address and/or phone number below, with your first name, and I may contact you to conduct a more lengthy formal interview. You may leave your full name if you wish; I will only use full names in the book with the subject's permission, meaning after you have signed a release form, so there is no need to worry about your name being used without your consent.

General information: Jeff Walsh
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