[oasis][columns]

by Matt
August 1996

Well, I'm back.

That's all I'll say about my trip to Germany for now. First, some matters to address, like last month's question of the month! I got about three times as many responses this month as last, and perhaps I'll get even more this month... it's getting to the point where it's hard to answer everyone, but I'm doing my best. Bear with me!

So... the question was "how old were you when you first kissed someone of the same sex?" I got the widest variety of answers possible with an even number all around, much to my surprise. I guess there's no one age where people start to find others of the same sex. Unfortunately. Some people found others at the ages of twelve and thirteen and others at the ages of twenty-five or twenty-six. I guess it comes depending on you and the place where you live.

One thing that turned up a lot in the replies was an outcry from people stuck between a rock and a hard place. They live in "hick towns" where they feel their towns will not accept them as gay. On the other hand, they're longing for some love or a good friend who's experiencing that same feeling. I couldn't provide any consolation. I'm in the same situation in my own town of 6,000 where my mother is the principal of my high school and everybody works with my dad at the towns largest industry. Case in point.

But nonetheless, some people find love and happiness with people their age very early in life. To those people I say, "You lucky ducks!!!"

So, on to the fun part of my big fat article. I just got back from Dimension X, also known as EUROPE. I live in Canada, a country considerably closer to its roots in Europe than the US. For example, Canada is a British colony (yes, still) and we listen to a lot more dance music here than I have seen in the US. My transition to Europe was still a culture shock. Being Canadian was "super" as they say in Germany (pronounced "zoo-pah"), but nothing prepared me for the total fun I was going to have!

Airplane, Ocean, Europe

It was late on a Thursday when I boarded my jet. I headed for Iceland. In Iceland I took another jet for Luxembourg. From there I took a Triprop (the kind with propellers) to Munich. The trip was smooth, although the five hours of time difference made the night seem like the blink of an eye. It was bright and sunny at what seemed to me like 2:30am, but it was actually 5:30am or something like that. Anyway, off I went to Germany and landed there at 8:05pm their time, just late enough to catch one of the worst lightning and wind storms they've had in years. Just perfect. I arrived an hour late. C'est la vie.

Um, before I get to the point...

I was there to study the German language at EF Spracheschule Muenchen (EF Munich Language School) and I stayed with a really nice lady, 61 years old. She placed no restrictions on me and she was a good cook (or, at least they say it was good. More to come on the food.) I was in school weekdays from 9am till 12pm and Tuesdays and Thursdays for a few hours in the afternoon. Just for interest's sake, here in Canada I pay $1.00 for a can of pop, fizzy drink, soda, or whatever you want to call it. In Munich, I paid rarely less than $4.50 (Canadian) for a drink of anything (including water), always 50 cents (Canadian!) for a package of Ketchup at McDonald's or Burger King, and a Big Mac Combo (no Arch Deluxe, folks) cost me about eleven bucks. That's damn good representation of the general cost of living in Munich. No wonder they're all moving here--in comparison, that's like US paying TWENTY CENTS for a coke and $2.50 for a Big Mac Combo!

A point: The Music

I'm gay. Be it stereotypical or coincidental, I love dance music with a passion. Germany is the capital of the world when it comes to dance music. And the Discos in Germany are the best of any I've been to (which isn't that many, but hey.) The music starts at 22:00 (10pm) and continues, beat after pumping beat, until 4:00. That's just enough time for me to go to a pub (at age 16) and grab myself some beer, oh, a litre or so, and then around midnight head over to the Disco with all my "happy" friends.

"Ausweis, bitte." (ID, please.) "Uh, ich komme aus Kanada. Ich habe kein Ausweis." (Um, I'm from Canada. I don't have an ID.) "Oh, ok. Vut's in your bak?" (Oh, ok. What's in your bag?) I produce some suntan lotion and a baseball cap. "Har har har, ja ja, hurry up." (Ha ha ha, yeah yeah, hurry up.)

So, at the age of 16, I'm in an 18 or over disco with a bunch of 16, 17, 18, and 19 year olds standing at the bar staring at the dance floor, the lights, the PEOPLE, and the divine sound system. That's beside the point. I dove for the dance floor after a few tequilas with lemon snakebites. (One "Tequila Weiss" (White tequila) was about four bucks.) The music was delicious. Trip hop, dance, house, jungle, all of it there, and all of it beat-mixed to absolute perfection.

Another thing to see and hear: the RollerDisco. Go in, take your RollerBlades or Roller Skates or rent them, and skate on hardwood floors, drink beer, and listen to awesome dance music. Absolute paradise for a Canadian like me who loves skating and drinking and dance music... I'd just never done it all at once before.

The German People

Veile Leute. Pronounced "fee-lah loy-tah" (although not so American, please!), it means "many people". Flying over Germany you see why there aren't too many escapes to the wilderness besides the uninhabitable Alps. Houses everywhere. To me, that's a dream. To others, that's a nightmare. (Ah, the beauty of outmigration.)

My friend's host-mother's daughter just turned 30 or something, so they were having a big bash for her. So with my friend, I went to her party. We drove at 160 km/h (100mph?) in a 1978 BMW. No seatbelts in the back seat. 4 speed transmission. NO tachometer. For those of us who are less than mechanically inclined, this car was old and dangerous. I was never so scared in a car. And the lady I was driving with just LOVED to look at the scenery while Porsches and NEW BMWs breezed by doing about 160mph (250 km/h). It's a sight to see.

So, we arrived at the party, and just as I had feared, only old people and little people. No medium people like me. But eventually, I saw these two skaters... they had skateboards (hence, "skaters") and Oakleys and one had a crew cut and the other a nice long hairdo. "Score!" I said to myself. These two guys were pretty damn good. (Note: this article is getting very long! I'll start compressing my thoughts.) We met them. We spoke in a mixture of English and German. We shared interests. (Ok, too compressed!) One of the guys seemed to be real super nice. Let's say "Gabe." Gabe had really short blond hair (I think it was actually blond) and really blue eyes and perfect perfect perfect teeth. He's one of those people who you fall in love with for any reason your hormones can find. Well, we hit it off right away. I don't know why, but the others who were with us (the other German guy, my friend, and a Russian and Italian girl) seem to be blurred in my memory. Me and Gabe got along well the whole night, and like I had hoped, he was quite physical, with me anyways. We wrestled a little, and he liked to "play fruit" like many people do, so I felt his hands on my "cheeks" a few times. We left 6 hours later at 2am, but I'll never EVER forget him. I don't have an address, or telephone number, or even a last name, but I do know that he attended a Gymnasium in Munich. If you recognize the description, you live in Munich, you're a German teen who's gay and speaks English because you're reading this, you've got Internet access, and you feel generous, write me an Email. Maybe something will happen. HA HA HA. I can see it happening.

As for the naked people suntanning, I saw a few, but with my busy list of sights to see with OTHER people, I didn't have much time to go off and get off on my own. I knew where to look, I just never got the chance. Lots of topless women though. All kinds of 'em. Even on the billboards.

Well, one last paragraph. My question of the month consists of two parts. One is "was this article too lengthy?" and two "in what one place would you love to live and why?" You can relate anything to do with being gay to it, but you don't have to. Hell, I'd love to live in Germany because of the music and the people. That's IT!

Anyway, I can't hog all the server space and your reading time. See you next month, and if you want to chat more about the music, the people, the weather, the time, or anything at all in Germany, please EMAIL ME!

See ya next month.


Matt, 16, is a high school student in Nova Scotia. He can be reached at matt@oasismag.com.
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