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Love and Marriage

Commentary by David Brager

In the ways of the world, just as in the theme song for "Married with Children", it is essential to love someone before considering marriage. But once you are infatuated with someone, there is little to no chance that anyone is going to stop you from getting married.

Marriage is a personal extension of love. It is a commitment to one person that you will take the time to share in the responsibilities of their life as they agree to the same for you, to grow in an impassioned and compassioned relationship, and to make a home for each other in your hearts.

All of this is normal, reasonable, and completely within the terms of human existence. Do you think, for one minute, that a couple whom are this much in love are going to break it off just because they are told that they cannot be married? Ever heard of "Romeo and Juliet?" If the Montigues and the Capulets had their way, this couple would be alive today, and living on opposite ends of the planet.

Consider this: What if it were "Romeo and Julius" or "Robin and Juliet"? With love so strong, how can you expect it to be any different?

Okay, perhaps you, personally, have never found a friend so warm and loving, so friendly and inspiring, that you wished you could spend the rest of your life with, even though he or she is the same gender as you are. But maybe you have, and then you let yourself down, simply by accepting the lie that an entity, outside your loving bonds, can dictate to you who you can or cannot fall in love. Do you see how much you are suffering?

Love is something very special in Humans. It is a power than can foster us to new heights of other emotions. It can strengthen and empower us to break down walls, barriers, and enemies. It is such a force that it can make a person come out in favor of something that all of society is brainwashed to be against...until they are educated with the truth and begin to make their own decisions in their own lives.

Over the course of the past twenty-five years, there has been, what may appear to some as, a boom in the number of people who are fighting to let their own heart have some freedom of choice. Even in today's world where people should seldom, if ever, have sex, a person may discover that the one they love is someone whom, by loving them, society will impose a label, calling them Gay or Lesbian.

If you love someone, that is a truly remarkable experience...and if you receive their love in return, that is beyond incredible. Many times, the emotions are out-of-balance, one loving while the other's not as sure, and the stories end in flames. But a relation that is founded on friendship, forged in love, and built on a variety of mutual interests, is a powerful point of existence. It is of this type of love that brings a man to fight off everyone for his love...and sometimes the one he loves is a man.

So, what does the Government have to do with all this? They have placed a price on marriage, and that price includes decreased taxes. It is in their interest to keep as many taxes as they can, and to accept Gay and Lesbian marriages would be to take a major cut in their pocketbooks, for there would be more legal marriages, and therefore, less taxes in their midst.

There also stands that married couples can have a right to survivorship when one dies, and this would cost the insurance companies, especially in these days of AIDS, and so the insurance lobbyists are fighting against the issue of Gay & Lesbian Marriages.

Married couples are also allowed to make life-and-death decisions on loved ones when they are in hospital. Otherwise, the hospitals get to make the decisions when the patient is in disposed, while no "legal relatives" can be found.

In these days of AIDS, not doctors, not nurses, nor staff seem to like this, but the hospitals themselves seem to love keeping a patient...milking them down to just a corpse for all the money they can, and then, if it happens that the patient dies, So what???!! A hospital just waits until the next ambulance arrives, hoping for another Gay or Lesbian to show up, for their lovers are not legally recognized as a spouse, and are, therefore, ignored when they need to be heard most. It seems very clear that Hospitals are lobbying against this issue as well.

The Military. Oh, the Military. We know that they would lobby against it, but their budgets are too small as it is, so they will have to let the other groups do it, but as long as the tape recorders are still going, you can always get an officer to say something nasty about "Homosexuals." Funny thing, though, is that many of these people, Gay & Lesbian, have been saving themselves for marriage...and until they have sex, if ever, how can you really call them "homosexual"?

So, let down your blinders and see what truly is at stake here. The bottom line is money. Since when is money more important than love?

I say to you, follow your heart, wherever it leads you. And if you wake up one morning, and find that the one you love the most is of the same gender that you are, rejoice in your love and pay no heed to societal woes. If you want to get married to this person, remember that love is something for which is still worth the fight.


David Brager isn't exactly male, nor exactly female, but was born XXY. He has taken upon himself the attempt to save others from the path that he took to self-discovery through his writings and his poetry. David is currently attending Columbia Basin College, in Pasco, Washington, and is working to get that campus' Alternative Lifestyle Team off the ground. He has been out for seven years, but is still married. You can visit him at his home page. David is 35, or as he puts it, 18 with 17 years of experience.
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