[oasis]

[columns]


Jay

November 1996

Hi all! How is everyone today? Good, I hope. I can't make this very long. Sorry. Anyway, I came out to my parents. And if you want to know why, I will tell you.

Some bitch who had nothing better to do entered in my school's name on her web search engine. She had kids who went there and wanted to see if any hits came up. My name did ... here, in Oasis. So she told the principal, who told my "guidance" counselor, who told the head school nurse. So, here I am sitting in her office while she starts telling me about this. And the reason why she told the school was because, "she was concerned for my welfare." Bullshit!

Anyway, she thought it would be best for me to tell my parents and sister. Well, my sister already knew, she had looked through my computer files and found naughty pics. Oops!

So, I tell my parents. My dad seems cool with it. But my mom insists that I am too young to know. She knows bullshit also; I wish she would just say "Okay, I still love you." But she didn't. Has any of this happened to you guys?(and gals!)

That night, I was up so late. Past one in the morning. And I had three tests the next day. And that night, I shed one single tear. That was all. Just one. I wouldn't let myself cry anymore than that.

I wrote this poem. I just wrote it 'cause I had nothing better to do. It was after I told my parents. Read it and tell me what you think. Also, about my writing, I write when I get bored of doing my regular work on the computer. It has got to be the least efficient way to do work, but it works for me. I also included a semi-autobiography.

School has been non-stop work for me. I have very little time to write this column. Too bad. But I am trying to pull through and am doing a pretty damn good job also. And I do feel a little bit better now that I have told my parents.

I sometimes wonder if I will get what I want. I never had a true boyfriend, or a girlfriend. I am going to get a little religious here. Every night, I ask for two things; strength to pull through the next day, and someone I can really "love." Love is in quotes for a very good reason.

Well, sorry this is so short again. And I am very sorry to anyone who tried to e-mail me last month. That was my old e-mail address. I have a new one set up so e-mail me.


[About the Author]


©1996 Oasis Magazine. All Rights Reserved.