[oasis] [columns]

Dan

December 1996

Ok. I'm relaxed now.

Today was my last deadline. Finished. Everything. Yearbook, school newsletter (which, if I do say so myself, looks better then anything anyone's ever done before), and my column.

So the yearbook missed it's deadline by one day, the covers and endsheets of the book by three days, my column by 6 days, and the newsletter was on time. Anyway...I made at least ONE of the deadlines After this I can truly relax for a bit. But for now I'm pretty relaxed. Just not TOTALLY relaxed.

Ok, so are you guys still with me? I hope I didn't loose you at the beginning, that would suck. If you're still reading...well...ummm...keep reading.

So what have I been up to this month? Well not a heck of a lot.

I guess the most important thing this month is that I went, for the first time, to a gay youth meeting. It was interesting. We all had to do surveys for some massive study in Pennsylvania, so my first day there wasn't the typical day. Anyway, I'm really comfortable there, I like it. Everyone really tried to make me feel comfortable. And well, I was. So of course I'll go back next week, if they want me...wait...who wouldn't want me? Hehe, ok...this is MY column...I can be cocky If I want.

Anyhow, I'll tell you more about it when I know more about it, so look for more information next month (wow, I used MORE three times in that sentence).

So, I'm just thinking about all the things that I've done this month and I'm realizing that I've not done very much at ALL. I saw Romeo and Juliet, and I hated it.

Leonardo DiCaprio gave SUCH a lackluster performance, my god! Could he give any LESS emotion when delivering his lines? And what was up with the whole movie? Is that supposed to be an accurate portrayal of the 90s? No. That's not what it's like to live in the 90s, that's what it's like to live in the television. Anyway, I hated it. The soundtrack just kicks-ass though. That was the film's ONLY saving grace. And the cinematography wasn't bad...the actors were cute. Claire Danes I love you. Yahyahyah, so I'm gay...big deal...I can still love Claire Danes...I love Bjork too. So there.

Speaking of movies, rent natural born killers (the directors cut) it's good. Blows virtually ANY movie away. Far, far, far away.

Enough about movies. I found out, in a sort of round about way, that a friend of mine is gay. He doesn't know that I know, and he doesn't know that I'm gay. Anyway, I've known for a few years, although the two of us have never been close. I'm tempted to ask him outright whether he is or not...but the only problem with that is, I don't think he'll answer truthfully. What should I do? Oh help me great Oasis reading public!

Since you're helping me anyway, there's this guy in my art class. And he's cute and all...and I can't for the life of me figure out if he's gay or not. It's creepy. He's really nice, he's smart, he's good looking, he has mostly female friends, he doesn't have a girlfriend, he's kinda chummy with me (i.e. he comes up to talk to me when I'm doing stuff...just to talk about nothing...doesn't do it to anyone else). I can't build up the nerve to ask him if he is or not. So I'll probably never know. He was at my house the other day and saw the Victoria secret catalogue sitting on the dining room table, and he picked it up and leafed through it, then asked (jokingly) if he could have it...so I gave him the (oh my god horny teenage boy) look. Sort of a look of disgust. Anyway. That was tacky of him.

It's a little over a month to Christmas time (for me). And people already have their lights up. Isn't there some RULE that says "thou shalt not put thine Christmas lights up prior to the first day of the twelfth month" ?? Shouldn't that be written in stone? I digress...so Christmas sucks. It's such a FAKE time of year. People go out and buy expensive gifts that they can't afford in a vain attempt at buying the happiness and love of another person. It's just sickening.

Have you guys noticed that my column this month is horrible? I mean I'm everywhere in terms of thought, there is no flow, there is no content. Anyway. I'm sorry. Next month will be better, I hope.

Ok. *Sigh*, you guys didn't do all *that* badly with the contest last month, no one got it wrong...oh...actually I think one person did...oh hold on I'm not sure. Ok. MOST of you got it right, anyway...the correct answer was Nights in White Satin by the Moody Blues. I know that most of you aren't old enough to remember who the Moody Blues are, but that's not excuse. Try harder.

So, boys and girls you have a chance to redeem yourselves. Name the band/musician that sang this lyric:

Can you hear me out there? I send this message to you...transmitting out through the air...signals into the blue...it's earthboy calling on frequency 10...all far out galaxies...I'm beaming love out to my one special friend...are you receiving me?

Who sang that, and what's it called? This is a tough one. If you get it, you MIGHT actually win something this month, (oh yeah...there was no prize last month, I lied...I'm so mean)...anyway ladies and gentlemen I think it's time to bring this atrocious piece of writing to a close. I can offer only one excuse for it being so bad: I'm tired. I'm stressed still (ok so I lied earlier about being relaxed)...anyhow.

One last thing, thanks to everyone who emailed me last month. See? I got back to everyone...so...feel free to email me. Lots. Ok not lots, because I do want SOME free time. But if you email me, I'll respond; because if I don't I feel guilty. Ok so I'm weak. Well not that weak. I'm just compassionate...to some people.


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