[oasis] [columns]

Matt

December 1996

Here it is, almost December. I can’t believe it! The days are so short, and the temperature here in Eastern Canada are around 0C (32F), which is pretty warm for this time of year. Who cares, right? Ok, this is a gay/les/etc. webzine, so I'll cut to the chase.

My life has been very strange the last little while. I've found out that people think I’m quite attractive... I've always thought so, but now people have made it clear. Two “desirable” girls have been courting me for the past little while, and it’s caused me some... difficulties. Well, actually, it’s been an ego trip. But I won’t get into that. One of my good friend’s little sisters, about a year and a half younger than me, really likes me. Seems that according to a lot of my straight friends, she’s pretty hot. (I have to admit, she looks pretty good!) She’s really nice... not a flaw in her personality. So, it all caught up with me, as I knew it would.

I hadn't been denying her outright.. it would seem too gay. I don’t want to make it obvious in my hick town that I may be off center, a little bit, and most of my friends said that ignoring her would make it very clear. So, I decided not to “deny” her. Ouch. First mistake. It was a dance, and she wanted to dance with me. That was fine. A minute later, we were making out on the dance floor. That was that—now she figured she had me. Now she calls me on a regular basis! What to do!? I can’t enjoy kissing her.. I may as well kiss an inflatable doll. It’s totally shitty. It’s kind of funny, though... her older brother knows I’m gay. I guess this will make a great story once I graduate.

Oooh! And here’s another juicy tidbit from my life. There’s this guy who is in my school now... he’s the QUEEN, if you know what I mean. He wears this fruity plaid hat, fruity buckley shoes, and, well, generally ‘gay’ apparrel. He listens to tons of techno to boot! He used to live in Ontario, then he moved here. “So what,” you ask. “What does that prove?” Well, there’s more.

He used to live here years ago, and we were good friends. Used to camp out in tents together and stuff... that’s fine. Just seems so odd how much he enjoyed touching me.. and of course, I enjoyed touching him back. Nothing sexual, just that we always had to have our sleeping bags next to each other in an overcrowded tent. We always had to sit next to each other on a crowded couch. Being young, you don’t see it as being sexual, but when I look back on it now, it seems very clear to me that I enjoyed his company in a different way than anyone else's. He reciprocated the feelings.

So now he’s back in town. I haven’t spoken to him in years.. I don’t even know the guy. But I’m watching him. I have SUCH an urge to approach him and make small talk.. figure out where he was all that time.. but I just can’t. Partially because I don’t have the guts, but there’s a bigger reason. I don’t know him, and I always talk about how gay he seems. Approaching him out of the blue may be a little risky considering that he’s not even a friend of a friend. Now what. It seems that he’s the only fighting chance I have in my little school of 600. Then again, he may be straight. Dressing up gay and listening to dance music doesn’t mean you’re gay. (Sure it does.) Probably has no bearing on his sexuality whatsoever. (Yeah, right. Who am I kidding.)

As for the continuing saga of my best friend’s little brother, no developments. He still has the same girlfriend. But he still grabs my ass from time to time. Its pleasing, but I've given up hope on him. He’s too young anyway. (No he’s not.)

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the question of the month. It comes packaged with a story this time. Take a read...

An upcoming star in music lately has been Ashley MacIsaac... he used to be a local fiddler, but he’s hit the real world with some tasty dance music. His latest album sold double platinum in Canada (presumably well in the US, too). He was doing really well for himself when suddenly, on the cover of the Provincial newspaper, and in lots of newspapers everywhere, he started something he may not be able to fix. He started talking about his sexuality. He said he was gay a long time ago, and that rose a small stink among the local lovers of his traditional music, but they were able to shake it off. Now he’s gone and said something nobody needed to hear. He said that he was not only gay, but liked younger men and was into urination. He even went as far as detailing sexual experiences with his sixteen year old boyfriend and this genre of sex. That hit a LOT of people hard, especially locally. (He was raised about 10 minutes from my house, where his parents and little sister still live. His little sister still goes to high school.) Now, in MY opinion, detailing your sexual relations with minors and what fluids you excrete onto them is nobody’s business but your own. Especially when it could RUIN your career, and ruin the life of your family. (Imagine his little sister in school that day!)

And so, my question IS (drum roll please) do you think that going public with your sexuality is necessary, irrelevant, or IXNAY on the EXUALITYSAY. (For those who speak no Pig Latin, it’s “nix on the sexuality”). Let me know how you feel regarding other people knowing what YOU do in your bedroom.

And so, as my fingers (once again) go numb, I must return to my igloo and hibernate until another feeding is needed. (Yes, I’m Canadian.) Thanks for reading, and DON’T STOP at me.. go see someone else’s article too!


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