[oasis] [columns]

Robert Hines

January 1997

Hi people, Marry Christmas and Happy New Year BTW. I'm sorry for people who have mailed me for not replying in like 2 months, I have too many things going on with me lately. OK so last months been like wow OK. My only class that they didn't know I was queer found out so I was like damn. It gets me down but I try not to think about it anymore. The was I see being *out* is just being myself. With coming out it's also brought on a whole new attitude, way of thinking, and even my mother mentioned that I seemed more so called *feminine*. I was like of course because I am being myself. When I get thinking about it coming out wasn't really a big deal. But the bashing is.

I'm 16 now, as of the 8th and pretty much everything is the same. Well I saw someone for a week, not going out but u know what i mean. Was different stuff for me but I kinda blew it I guess when I called it off. I wasn't happy with his attitude and some other things, they were misunderstandings that I reacted to real quick and I guess it was a bunch of little things bothering me about this guy also. We meant one night when a friend of mine brought him along and well I hafta say that I liked him to hell but wasn't gonna say anything 'cause of a too big a fear of rejection and I suppose I am a big insecure of myself. So he wanted me to call him after and we ended up chatting on the phone till 5 AM. So I was like all YAY and stuff eh. I ended up getting the bus into town every day to see him. It was a bit nerving. This Saturday night coming up one of my friends is having a Christmas party so I'm goin' and me and the buddy I was seeing decided to make it a date, no obligations or anything like that. I have that to look forward to. I must say my expectations of kissing were not as good as the real thing. What I'm really messed up about I guess is I really don't know how to behave on a date with someone with other people around. Not like its a gay thing or anything just a people dating thing in general, I even talked to my mother about it, she was like well don't have anal sex, but other than that. So my mother surprised me about that.

I got my DRIVERS LICENCE too. Well my partial one anyway, stupid graduated licensing. I can drive as long as I don't go over 80 KPH, off the roads from midnight to 5 AM, and as long as I'm in the car with only 1 person with a minimum of 2 years driving experience. It will all get lifted as time goes on but at least its better than not having anything at all.

It's almost Christmas and there is no snow here, last year we had a green Christmas also, were turning into the west coast of Canada. We already had a snowfall but it was only like 15 cm. Then it rained the next like 5 days and the basement flooded, I'm getting to hate rain.

I managed to get my hands on a copy of the November/December issue of XY and well it was quite nifty. I left for school Monday morning with my mother reading it. I was like *gulp* when she first saw the front cover with two guys kissing on it. I had just left it lying around the night before. She asked me if I minded her talking a look at it, I didn't care. The article that got my attention the most was the one about Brett Harris. He's the 15 year old in the States taking on Congress to stop legislating loneliness. I don't really think mostly white middle aged men from a different generation have the needed open mind to run the States today but that's my opinion. I really hate including my personal opinion on here in my articles because some people just can't keep from arguing with me about it. I don't wanna sound like I'm right and no one tell me I'm wrong either. There was another article in there that made me extremely angry. It was about a Christian youth group cheering on the suicide of a gay youth. There was a gay youth group with a megaphone across the street saying why do u hate us and do u know that u kill gay youths all the time and that 3 times the amount of gay youths commit suicide than straight youths. Then the girl at the megaphone broke down and started crying. It just gets me so angry, because all of this anti-gay parade is an unfair price to all people who aren't straight. I guess its the unfair price of being any minority not mattering what which really SUCKS!

I ended up getting my parents a CD each for Christmas. Then I am I hope getting them a dozen roses, because there like the best, I wanna brag about them on here right now! I feel so loved and supported by them. There really hasn't been much this month to write abut and am sorry bout an empty article, but I almost skipped this month, till next month, later

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