April 1997

As a 19-year-old bisexual college male, maybe I am atypical in my resolution not to have sex until I am with someone I love. However, being at my so-called "sexual peak," I've really been going through some personal hurdles and questioning my values, and I ask you to do the same.

In the young gay community it seems to be status quo to have frequent sexual experiences before the age of 20. Is this simply because marriage currently is not a reasonable option? I refuse to believe that every gay or bisexual man is a sex-crazed being who cannot control his sexual desires. Or one who would not want love out of any relationship.

Actually, when I go back and think about it, what type of people are most gay men? Aren't many of them darned good liars and secret keepers? I'm not proud of the fact that I keep secrets from people, and I believe that seriously detracts from my otherwise good moral character. Well, that's another day, another column.

A physical relationship should be only part of the overall gay experience, but it seems like casual sex is widely practiced and accepted. This type of behavior feeds the homophobic belief that homosexuality leads to destructive and immoral behavior. The campaign against teen heterosexuals making love is louder than ever. Why should we be any different? Why should we get that special right?

Now, of course, I wouldn't ask you to stop having sexual relationships -- once you start something it's difficult to stop -- but would it be too much to ask to try and instill good moral values in today's youth rather than promoting teenage sex? What particularly sparked this column was an answer in the March Oasis advice column -- saying how everybody's doing it and there's nothing wrong with that. Well, this may be true now, but it doesn't have to be.

Okay, I'll admit I've been tempted to take up some of the encounters offered to me on IRC (duh) or in some other way to give in to my desire to have a steamy night with some beautiful thing of a man. But I don't, for one simple reason. I was brought up knowing not to disrespect a woman like that. 'Cause even if we're both consensual, regrets are too often the case later on down the road. And therefore, a guy deserves my same attentions.

Well, I s'pose that's all for now. I'll write again if I can think of anything I need to say, and if I don't get three million flames bashing my opinion.

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