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Anne Nessa

April 1997

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I never thought of myself as a lesbian. I didn't even know what the word meant. I knew I was different. I never felt abnormal or sinful. I'm basically a good person.

I don't understand the labels society gives to us -- dykes, faggots, homos, queers -- us being homosexuals, or why other people feel the need to judge us. We're not child molesters or perverts. We're just like everyone else. We go to school or work everyday, pay our taxes, do our homework, help our friends and families, and fall in love.

My first love was a total surprise to me. She was a year older. I was 14. She was 15. We'd go for a walk. She'd hold my hand. We'd go to the movies. She'd hold my hand. I was totally in love.

They say you never get over your first love. When she started to go out with boys I was devastated. I was lost, confused, and depressed. I couldn't go on. I couldn't go to school. I almost failed the 11th grade. Nothing mattered. That was a long time ago. I've learned from each experience, each love. It's taken me years to find myself and years to find someone to love and be loved by for the rest of my life.

We love each other very much. We want to share our lives for better or worse till death do us part. I know most straight people don't understand that part about us. We want the same things: have a good job, go out to eat, have someone take care of us when we're sick, come home to dinner after a hard day, plan vacations, play cards, watch TV. We're not really that different.

So much in life has little to do with sex, or sexual preference, or who we sleep with. It has to do with how good of a person you are. Who would you rather have as a best friend, Rush Limbaugh or Ellen Degeneres?


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