[oasis]

[arts]


Heart Mind And Soul

By Jason Lyons

I stand here in front of this ancient wavering mirror, looking at a reflection I do not know and a sustenance within that I do not understand. Below my bare feet, a chill from the old wooden slats of my bedroom floor begins to crawl through my skin and pounce at my bones. I ignore its cry and reach out towards the floor-to-ceiling mirror. It responds to my touch, ripple's racing across its surface, as if imitating a stone being thrown into a still pond.

My hand quails in surprise and I stare uncertainly at the violated reflection. I stand here staring at this stranger. A man filled with confidence and emanating feelings of love, caring and passion. Eyes that are cheerful and a smile that says all wrongs can be forgiven and all mistakes worked into good. I don't know who he is, I find him attractive, nonetheless. Adventurous, exciting, carrying the very essence of life in the palm of his hand, only the things he allows to touch him can do him harm. Cognitations of similar desires jump back into my here-and-now memory. Then suddenly a prickly sensation runs up and down my spine, like a million dancing butterflies fluttering within me.

I realize, rather grudgingly at first, that this essence of my dream, standing before me, is my very own soul. He is, what I am, even if I don't always realize it. That person of strong values and commitment that I want to be is who I already am, I simply need to make contact with it, buried so deeply within me. Slight ripples still break the surface of this all knowing mirror. I reach my trembling hand out and thrust my fist into it, allowing fear and anger to overcome me. I feel the blood drain from my face, my skin constricting around frightened features. My hand is within the mirror and the most wonderful sensations begin streaming into my body, enveloping my anger and fear. The sensations begin to speak with me, asking me to let go of that which is only doing me harm. At first I fight, not wanting to release the familiar and comfortable. In the end though, after moments of frustration, I relinquish hold of them, and watch them drain from me into the mirror.

With my hand still in the mirror, I search its depth for a sign of what is to come. I notice a small wooded area within, a beautiful place of life and safety. With the strength of a springing tiger, I leap forward into the mirror. My body flies through the surface as easily as a sparrow flies through an open window.

At first I am overwhelmed by the sensation of falling, as in dreams of childhood. Cool air rushing across my face, pushing my shirt open and caressing my chest. I can see the ground speeding towards me, but I am not afraid. It is as if fear doesn't exist here. Before I realize what is happening my bare feet are buried in the rich green grass of this picturesque place. Looking around I try to get my bearings as to where I might be. I decide that where I am, isn't a place that exists in normal time. I quickly decide to walk towards a large patch of shimmering grass that lies between myself and the wooded area I saw in the mirror. Around me I see deer playing in pairs and chipmunks scampering playfully with one another. I gaze upwards and stare in awe at the rich blue sky and large fluffy clouds adorning it. I look back towards my destination and realize that it's in fact a large pond. Still as glass, it appears solid enough to walk on. However, not wanting to trudge around in drenched denim, I decided against trying it. Instead I notice a large rock next to the water. Walking over to it, I step up onto its flat top and kneel down, gazing into the crystal clear water below. Beneath its glassy surface, brightly colored fish, with long flowing fins, swim in and out of rocky formation. Their white bodies are covered with blue, green and red splotches, an artists palette of colors.

Looking around the area of the pond, I notice a swarm of butterflies fluttering together in an excited whirlwind. They look so peaceful and carefree. So very beautiful. Not having anywhere I need to be in this strange world, I decide to relax in this comforting place. In the woods that are not so far off, I can hear the birds singing to each other and the trees whistling their songs of long life, with the help of the wind blowing through their tops.

From the rock I now perch upon, an unseen warmth flows into my body, making me feel...fuzzy inside. I smile and close my eyes in an attempt to absorb my surroundings as fully as possible. I open my eyes and look to my side. There I see you walking slowly towards me. You're no further than a hundred feet away. I feel light headed at the sight of you. That short brown hair, warm brown eyes and pearly white grin, are still so very mesmerizing.

You're dressed similar to me. No shoes, baggy jeans and an open denim shirt. Your silver chain still hangs from belt loop to back pocket, the same chain you wore so long ago. My eyes fill with tears of happiness at the sight of the the one I have loved for so long. I leap from the rock as I hurry to meet you. We wrap our arms around each other in strong embrace. I cling to you, afraid you might slip from my grasp. After several long moments, we let go reluctantly and step back to take a look at each other.

Your voice is so familiar and comforting. "It's been too long, David, I have missed you much."

"I have missed you also."

We take hold of each others hand and walk slowly over to sit on the stone.

"You know David, you've been in my thoughts every day. Very few moments go by that I don't think of you."

A tear rolls down my cheek as I stare into your loving eyes. "You know we need to be together again."

"We will, this separation isn't forever. Please don't ever forget how very much I love you."

"I won't." I look down at your hand intertwined in mine and realize how very good it feels to be touching you.

Placing the finger tips of your free hand under my chin, you tip my head up to look back into your eyes. "You know you have really changed these past few months,"

"Really, How so?"

"You seem so much more confident with yourself, and so very settled within. I don't feel any tension from you. There is so much love in your eyes. It's as if you've thrown away all those bad things you experienced."

I smile slightly at this comment. "Throw away, no, deal with yes."

It's at this moment that your eyes lock with mine, the way they did so long ago. I see your head tip into mine and moments later feel your warm moist lips press against mine. Every nerve in my body stands on end. My hand travels to the back of your head. It has been so long, too long.

As our lips separate, I feel the air around me quiver and the rock beneath me begin to feel cool. I look quickly towards you, fear seeping into my eyes. "I think it's time for me to leave."

"It is, but you will hear from me soon. Don't forget that I will always love you and be with you, heart mind and soul."

At the very instant that last word rolls off his tongue, I blink and find myself once again standing before my mirror. The cold from the floor once again tries to crawl into me, but is pushed away by the warmth that now consumes me. Had it not been for the shrill ringing of the phone, I could have stared into the mirror for an eternity.

I anxiously step to my night stand and pick up the receiver. "Hello?"

"Mornin', Sunshine," It's you. "You know it's the funniest thing. I just woke up from a dream about you."

Sitting back on my bed, with my own experience still fresh in my mind, I get settled for a lengthy conversation. "I'd love to hear all about it."


[About the Author]


©1997 Oasis Magazine. All Rights Reserved.