May 1997

Wow -- you must be bored - You're reading MY COLUMN... oh well, this is my first column for Oasis, so I guess I have to do one of the corny this-is-me-now-send-me-mail-so-I-feel-special columns. If I must. *SIGH*. Click here if you want to skip the bio and get on with this column, thereby saving your sanity.

I'm 15, 170 pounds, 5' 11 + 1/2, w/ green eyes and drab brown hair. I'm going to bleach my hair someday. And get contacts. People say my eyes are really mysterious and enticing. Well, one out of 2000 body parts is good enough for me! I also have an earring in my left ear, and plan to eventually get 2 in my right. I was sexually aware at 10 and it wasn't until I was 13 that everyone else I knew was, and at that age I had to hide my sexuality from everyone (myself included) to keep myself slightly leaning towards normal. I had sex with girls and talked about wanting girls with friends. All too well did I hide the other side of my bisexuality. I took enough drugs to fit in. Never got addicted to anything. Thankfully. About a month ago, just before my best friend (a guy) left town, he told me he was gay and we had the longest night talking about our hopes, fears, feelings towards each other, and every other possible nuance. We thought about doing it, but decided it would be detrimental to both of us, since he was leaving and I would most likely never see him again. So now, my social life is totally based around the people I know at school. They don't even think I know what sex is, so I feel perfectly comfortable around them not lying about my sexuality, but on the other hand leaving no hints. I'm out to one person I'm in communication with. I'd never tell my parents unless I knew I could support myself if my father kicked me out of the house. I'd rather I didn't have a father at times, but at other times, he's a convenience. My mother is so much more understanding. So I spend my time working with computers at work (what a concept!) and helping other friends with theirs in their spare time. Have to build a social life somewhere! Having a very social friend whom I'm out with helps too. Okay. You know me now. On to stuff I'd rather say.

*SIGH of relief*. Glad that's over. I must have written 6 different paragraphs before sticking with that one.

Let's see. What goes on in my mind I can share with everyone.

Hmm... I got 4 A's in weighted courses and a B and a normal course. (In other words, 4 A's and 1 C.). That sucks. I WAS THIS CLOSE. Oh well. Maybe next quarter I'll bring up my final average. School's out in 6 weeks. Unless this doesn't get printed until June (Which is what I gather). In that case, school's out in 1 week. Thank something. (Oh, did I mention, I'm also atheist, which my parents also don't know).

MTV is so sad at times. That Daria show is extremely funny though. I think I just go in for anything totally sarcastic. I dislike rap music. I really do.

Hmmm... I have nothing left to talk about. Oh yeah. I got 16 new megs of ram today. It would seem all I spend my money on is my computer. Heh.

Now I have nothing to talk about. Okay, I'm letting my hormones kick in to fill in the rest of my little allotment of disk space I've given myself for this column (I should have bought a hard drive instead).

I saw the CUTEST, most ADORABLE, MUSCULAR, PERFECT GUY ON THE BUS TODAY. WHY can't I look like that. Even better, WHY can't there be GAY/BI PEOPLE like that... so lonely. He was so BEAUTIFUL... He had these arms, I could just salivate over them for HOURS on END... And his legs, powerful, furry, oh what the heck PERFECT... I tell you, I want this kid. I wonder what he is. I can only hope that through exercise I can get arms like that. (Fat chance, hehehe). They were PERFECTLY muscled. Not so much as to show the veins, but enough to bulge with perfect masculinity. Perfection. Ultimate perfection.

Okay, THAT'S ENOUGH. The point of this column is not (supposed) to be a sexual outlet. There are no out gay people in my school. I know there are gay people there. Statistics show that at least 1 other person in my honors-class-team-block-thingie is gay. I wonder who(m). Who adds the m at the end there anyway? That sounds so dumb. I wonder if that's correct or incorrect without it. Okay, now I am babbling. I'll shut up now.

Let's see. Name the lyrics seems to be a common ending. I'll do an easy one - It's one of (if not) THE best songs I've ever heard - I've been told it's old, but I go for old depressing music. Almost everyone I know has heard every song this group has written and hates every note of it thoroughly. I LIKE IT. LIVE WITH IT. I'M A FREAK. After about 20,000 people send me mail telling me the following things:

1. Group
2. Lead singer
3. Album name
4. Song name

All other messages regarding this will be automatically piped to /dev/null. Sorry, but my mailbox can only be so flooded.

"Every whisper. Every waking hour. I'm choosing my confessions.
Trying to keep eye on you, like a hurt lost and blinded fool. Fool.
Oh no. I've said too much. I've said enough."

If you flame me for liking this song, it will be piped to /dev/null. 'nuff said. Okay, I'm done babbling. I have to go do something to get rid of this caffeine high.

(My e-mail address is colbey@itw.com, btw).

Let's see - If you want to read something more enjoyable, I suggest Annie's column, Mr. Lloyd's column (there are so many matthews), Jay's column, and/or Beverly's column. That's it. I'm done now. For real. Seriously.

[About the Author]

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