Shaun Hutchinson

June 1997

Conversations With Elvis

I didn't really introduce myself in my first column, so I'll take this time to correct that error. My name is Shaun and I just turned 19. I live in Florida where I am wasting a year at a shitty college until I can save enough money to go to a real one.

Lalala.... Umm. I am an avid writer and...........

OK. I'm just not real good at this introduction stuff. As you'll find out about me through my writing, I'm really very transparent.

So anyway, I just had a birthday on May 1st. It wasn't anything special. I went out and bought myself a bunch of presents. I bought new rollerblades, (and I'm killing myself trying to learn to do a 360 degree spin in the air). I bought the first edition of the number one issue of "The Tick." I'm pretty into "The Tick." He's just too cool for words.

"The Tick" reminds me of myself in a lot of ways. Let me see if I can explain.

I started watching "The Tick" on TV. I never even knew there was a comic book. Then I read it and the similarities are fantastic (in a really bizarre sort of way.) See, most people think that the Tick is just plain nuts. Of course, it doesn't help that he is an insane asylum escapee, but let's not pay attention to the little details. Most people think the same of me. Tick just thinks a little different than other people (Read: ALL other people) and so do I.

I think that's one of the main difficulties with human nature; we tend to disregard those that don't think the same way we do. If someone doesn't arrive at a conclusion the same way as everyone else, then there must be something wrong with them.

Of course, I don't wear blue tights ("I have pockets!" Tick fans will get it) and I don't have an overweight moth for a sidekick, but there's a lesson to be learned from "The Tick." If we disregard someone just because they think differently than we do, are we any better than anyone else?

I know this is short, so I'll leave some tidbits here in order to get some e-mail, so that I have something to talk about next time.

Has anyone heard the new Foo Fighters' song, "Monkey Wrench?" There's a part in the chorus that says "One in Ten." The rest of the lyrics are also strangely reminiscent of things I've written. Is anyone in that band gay?

Who likes Ayn Rand? Anyone curious about what her viewpoint on homosexuality would be?

"We come in peace." They said it in "Mars Attacks!" Seems to be a wonderful slogan for oppressors.

How many gay aggressive skaters are out there? Just curious.

One last Tick thing. I think he's got to be gay. He's never expressed interest in a woman, and he goes around fighting "evil," (read: the straight society.) OK, OK, I know it's REALLY stretching it, but I'm just trying to broker some conversation.

Did anyone see "Chasing Amy?" Was anyone else offended by the way Alyssa (That was her name right?) seemed to address her sexuality as something she just sort of changed whenever she wanted to? They didn't present her as a bisexual, they presented her as a straight girl who decided she wanted to be a lesbian, who then decided to be straight again. I didn't like it. Until a more coherent time...

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