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Paul Pellerito

June 1997

Spear Chucking Lesbians

(Glances up at the title) Sorry girls, I saw that written somewhere and thought it sounded cool, so I named my column "Spear Chucking Lesbians." Great name for a band, eh?

Hey guys and gals... did you miss me last month? I did. Err, I mean I missed writing last month. Yeah. That's it. Anyway, strap yourselves in for another exciting column from yours truly.

Lets start with three gripes I have:

Gripe #1: Lyric contests. I don't have a lyric contest. I don't intend to. Someone (I think it was Dan) decided to be cool and have one. So then someone else started one, and then someone else followed, and then someone else started one, and someone else... Why? It was cool the first time, but now it's all very pretentious.

Gripe #2: Followers. This leads on quite nicely from the lyric gripe. I've noticed that in my school everyone seems to follow a few people. I guess this is just they way it goes in high school. Well, it's really beginning to bother me, cause I try just to be myself. Well, I guess there will always be followers and then there will always be people to bitch about the followers.

Gripe #3: Role models. Have you noticed that there aren't any?? (Winks at Jeff) Well, I'm actually fed up with this. What with Ellen coming out and stuff, it would seem as if being gay is what's news. That's all well and good, but what about us kids? Why can't one of the Tool Time kids come out? Or why can't Ellen adopt some baby dyke and show her that being a lesbian is okay? I think it'd be real cool to have that black guy from Spin City meet with a Gay/Straight Alliance from a New York school. Maybe Ellen could have a GLBT youth support group meet in her bookstore. What do you guys think?

Sorry if it seems like I'm whining, but I haven't written much in the past few months, I've just been trying to form a nice life for myself. Speaking of myself, I'd like to point out that I actually do have some role models in my life.

The first role model I had was a Big Brother. He's married now, has a few kids, nice house, listens to Rush Limbaugh, all that good stuff. Good thing I didn't follow his lead. I am waiting for one of his kids to come out though. That'd make him shit his pants! Conservatives are so much fun.

While I've been in high school I haven't had much in the line of role models, but I've met a few people recently that you could call role models.

This should sound perfect: They live in a nice house in the suburbs, wonderfully furnished, satellite TV, etc.; they both work for a very good company, one in finance the other in the factory. White picket fence and all that, right? Well, not exactly. These are my two friends, Jon and Pete. They're both wonderful guys, and married, too. Sound like role models to me. Instead of a white picket fence they've got a rainbow sticker on the picture window.

Ahh... the joys of domestic life.

Okay, this is the part when I wake up now. Back to the rosy-colored fantasy of my own life.

I went back to P-FLAG in April (after a year "hiatus") and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Didn't make it in May cause it was Mothers' Day, but I'll probably go this month and for every meeting after that. I really enjoy P-FLAG cause the parents there are just so wonderful. I don't think my mom would like it though, plus I don't want them to hear from her about all the things I do!

I hope to sit on the board of Grand Rapids P-FLAG on of these days, and my government class has really interested me. I could see myself in the gay lobby of congress. Not to cast my hopes too high, of course.

Well, that's about it. Have a nice month and I'll see you in July. And of course, it wouldn't be one of my columns without me saying:

The future lies in our hands. See you next month.


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