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Dillon Font

July 1997

Love brings a lonely lonely heart
I'm just all alone now
Lonely lonely heart
All the joy and pain I feel, I'm always
Dreaming it by myself
Love brings a lonely lonely heart
But I know that someday it will come
While I'm being held in your strong arms
Wanting to be together with you...
-- Naoko Takuechi, translated lyrics from the Japanese song, Watashi-tachi ni Narikakute.

Hello, my name is Dillon Font. I'm 16 years old, a sophomore in New Jersey. I am ever so hopelessly romantic (i.e. I don't have sex with people easily at all. I am a virgin <applause>) All right, so I'm waiting for my Prince to sweep me off my feet, or vice-versa. I'm also an otaku. Confused? I'll explain that later.

Or how about now? An otaku is the slang Japanese word, coming to mean a person with a strong obsession to Japanese animation(Anime) Japanese comics (Manga) and just about every other aspect of the Japanese culture.

Oh yeah, here's the clincher. Just in case you didn't guess, I'm also gay (as if you didn't know already, you adorable people). Gay, out, and proud. All people who ask, I tell. And others who don't, well, it's decently obvious, so if they can't detect that, then they can't see past their own noses.

My parents aren't exactly happy with the situation. My parents divorced years ago. I live with my mother. I first told my father, three years ago. At that point, I thought of myself as bi. He's a spiritualistic person. According to the "spirits," it's just a phase. Yeah, maybe he's trying to convince himself and me that I'm really straight. Or maybe the spirits were right. I'm not bi, that was a phase. I'm actually gay.

My mother found out. Three years ago, while going to a shrink, he decided to tell my mom I said I was bi. Well, there goes Patient-Doctor confidentiality, huh? Well, we barely discussed it, and I think she thought it faded away. Anyway, it was Thanksgiving morning. She was going to go in the afternoon to eat at my stepfather's family (a.k.a. The Christianly Demon Family). Anyway, we were picking up my room, and by accident, I had some gay sites written on a memo on my desk. After seeing it, she said she was not happy with it, but if I'm gay, she's okay with it. She never says anything unless I bring it up. She thinks its a phase too. Humph.

What can I say? Watching lots of shojo (Girls) anime, romance and stuff, has made me all mushy, and I wanted the soft-hearted romances in those stories, in where a kiss is so utterly important, and sex is not an issue. Of course, we all know in America, those things are thrown out the window.

Oh well. I had (have?) this really big crush on this small, artistic, flaming guy. He's in Colorguard. Our school placed seventh in the Colorguard Nationals. So lithe, cute, beautiful, intellectual... my total dream. But, after six months of this, I finally told him, and either A) He really is not gay or B) Doesn't want to admit because of his extremely low self esteem. I'm not really sure which one I believe in. My heart still jumps when I see him.

I had one relationship. It was based on sex and was used simply to manipulate me. God, men can truly suck (No pun intended, even though they do wonderfully). Oh well, in the end, it was for the good. Made me much less sex-crazed, that's for sure! Also, I'm happy I didn't lose my virginity. I made myself a promise on that. I won't lose my virginity unless A) I love and care deeply about the person and B) only when I can wake up the next morning in his arms, or vise versa. Asking for too much? I don't think so. Of course, that doesn't mean I won't do OTHER things.

So, I'll end up my first article. I hope it gets through the screening process. Be gentle with reviews! I'm fragile. I would love to write some more articles. So I now say "Ja ne!!"(See you later!)

Wonderfully yours,

Dillon


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