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Jennifer Thomson

July 1997

I really hope that this, my "Debut" article, is not going to offend anyone. Though I have always heard that disclaimers about offensive nature only serve to make people more apt to be offended. Nonetheless, I'm just going to say it. I don't like being gay. Don't get me wrong, I am, there's no changing that now, but if I had a choice, I wouldn't be a lesbian. I'd be a man.

Funny, isn't it? I wouldn't want to be a straight girl. I'd much rather change my body to accommodate my feelings that change my feelings to accommodate my body. Not to be ungrateful or anything, but my life would have been so much easier if I had just been born with a Y chromosome thrown in there. I would be able to make out with my girlfriend, and people would just say we were young, not vile and corrupt. And being a queer isn't that easy either, the dating pool is smaller, and everyone hates us (although we get our own parades, and I think I heard that we get free rentals at Blockbuster or something). Yet, it's supposed to be a choice. Either there is something in genetics or society that makes us this way, or we as a community are very bad decision makers.

I am tired of being blamed for being gay. That I'm doing this to upset my parents, or to get attention, or even because it's Trendy. A rare few have just plain out blamed me for everything I am. Yeah, like it's my fault, cause you know, before I was born God pulled me aside, and said in his great big God voice, "Jennifer... I have very special plans for you. You will be beautiful, tall and thin, with blonde hair and blue eyes. Many will adore you, and then one day, you will find someone special, marry him, have 2.5 kids, and live in the suburbs."

And then I screamed back, "NOOOOOO!!!! Don't do *that*! How about you make me short, and "husky", and kinda ugly. Oh oh oh! I have an idea, why don't you give me a *social disease*!" God looked kind of shocked and said, "Well, OK, I guess I could make you... gay." "Oh yes, that would be wonderful!" I replied. Then I was born, and this is where I am. Maybe it did happen that way, but if it didn't, then for God's sake, just leave me alone.

I don't know if there was a point to that, but if there was, I hope it was good. Hi, my Name is Jennifer Thomson. And I'm a lesbian.


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