Virginia Eveland

September 1997

Well, the question for today is: Could you, would you, live in a closet?

To which I respond: Sure you can. I wouldn't recommend it.

I think many have forgotten why the community used the term 'in the closet' to begin with. I mean, sure, you keep your skeletons there, those secrets you aren't supposed to let anyone know even exist. But there's a bit more to it beyond that.

Go open your closet, and (if it's physically possible) sit down in it for a few minutes. Try it with the door closed, and with the door open. But don't let yourself leave for a few minutes.

Feeling pretty stupid in there, aren't you? I mean...you're wasting your time sitting around in a closet, when you can clearly see that life is out there beyond the door. All you've got to entertain yourself in there are few shoes, some coats, maybe some umbrellas. Not exactly items designed to stimulate mental growth.

Ok. I guess you've sat in there long enough. You can come out now. If:

You face your parents and tell them you don't' live the same way they do. You risk getting the shit kicked out of you. and You label yourself as one of the most hated minorities in America.

Wow, that door sure closed in a big hurry. How's it feel in there? Hey, I wouldn't recommend locking yourself in...

Got enough air in there? Ok...just checking...


Bored yet?


Hey, I didn't know umbrellas could do that. Impressive.


Hi! Nice to see your poking your head out of the closet finally. How's it look out here?

Tempting, you say? Well, yes, I imagine it is tempting. People are out here socializing, having fun, and all you have to do is come out of the closet.

Well, at least you didn't slam the door shut.

Hey, what's with the crying jag here...you lonely or something? Oh yeah, that's right. You're still stuck living in a closet.

Trust me people. It sucks.

Virginia Eveland


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