Jason Lyons

September 1997

Do you know what it takes...to love me?

-- Robyn

Long winding roads, mountains or rock, antelope, sarcasm, sun, dysfunctional, sweat, tears, bulls, broncos, calves, fillies, self-discovery, Kacheena dolls, cowboys, cowgirls, ropin', chewin', ridin', starry skies, bulls, horses, and Smokin' Armadillos.

Bet you can't guess what that paragraph was all about. One hint, Cheyenne Frontier Days. I've been in Wyoming for five days now and I really don't care to leave. The state is beautiful, the weather is gorgeous and western hospitality can't be beat. On top of it all there are a lot of good lookin' guys and gals. Not only that, I've seen more 'family' in the past couple days than I've seen it my past twenty-two years. I'm completely amazed at how diverse the rodeo community is. This has been best family vacation, country music and all.

I was reading The Advocate magazine the other day and I couldn't believe the number of letters written in to the Editor saying that bisexuality is just a person's inability to decide between men and women. The majority of these letters were written by homosexual men. I wonder how these same men would react to someone saying that they were gay because they were abused as children or because they didn't have a father around. I'm sure they would be just a irritated by those remarks as I was by theirs. If people aren't willing to allow others to be who they are without being judged, are those doing the judging willing to bet back what they dish out? Better yet are they willing to make life stressful for others for the same reason (ignorance) it is and has been done to them? These judgmental attitudes bring sadness to my heart.

While I'm up here on the soap box, if there is anything out of the ordinary I have noticed in the different Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered publications I read regularly it is this. For such a large group of people (GLBT community) experiencing the extreme amounts of discrimination we do, where is the camaraderie? Why are we not joining together in support of one another? I attended a GLBT support group for a while and it seemed even there that the support being sought needed too be earned. Only the 'poster child' GLBT is given support freely in much of the community. So then what about the GLBT's that don't fit that 'poster child' description? Are we to allow them to fend for themselves? Doesn't sound like much of a family or community...resembles something closer to a clique in my 'handbook'.

If the camaraderie I am asking for doesn't exist then lets work toward it. The wheels have already began turning. For instance this E-zine is a stepping stone for support and 'family'. For those in a position to listen to the concerns of others and do so is another stepping stone.

And I'm not forgetting those of you out there that are in no position to write for an E-zine or listen to those with GLBT related problems. So to you I ask, Care. Care about yourself, those around you and others such as the staff and writers of this E-zine and the multitudes of others that are able to be 'out' there making a difference. Anything else you may be able to do besides caring will cone later...but to try and fight the battle with out caring would be futile.

My thoughts last month were heavy and there were many times that I questioned the value of my own life. There are some who read this and balk at such a statement. They don't understand how something could affect someone so deeply. The news flash is, it can and many die at their own hands because of it.

If you are reading this and have been a victim of rape, abuse, or violence of any sort, seek help. DON'T keep secrets or protect. That only sows seeds of more violence. There are those out there that are here to help us, let them please. It'll be one more stepping stone behind you...

I leave this month full of love and happiness. For the first time in a while I have a clear picture of the stepping stones in front of me and know what is going to be needed to get them behind me. Until next month I can be reach at jtlyons@hotmail.com Till next month, love to all And a special thanks to those that have leant their support.

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