I'm afraid I don't have much to say this month. I'm not really sure what I feel. I'm actually really happy. Then again, I'm sad too. I thought this whole emotional roller coaster-ride was supposed to be over after I left high school!
The very first person I told I was bisexual, Shannon, way back in January, is leaving me. She leaves (or, by the time you read this, left) on Wednesday, September 17th. The whole week I'll be at work at the paper; we're putting out a 50-page special back-to-school edition. The Friday before she left, we went to Mio's for dinner. It was really nice... we got to talk. Something we haven't done for a while.
Shannon is a very complicated person, but then again, so is everyone, including myself. There was a time where I was absolutely in love with her. I guess in a way I still am. I mean, although she's beautiful and very attractive, I'm not interested in pursuing any kind of a sexual relationship. Yet I know if it were possible, I would not have a problem with living with her for the rest of my life.
Enough of that. This month features an event that as the years roll by, make the gay community even more visible than normal. If you didn't already know what October 11th is, it is National Coming Out Day. The title is pretty much self-explanatory, don't you think?
I haven't yet decided how I will celebrate. I know I will not come out to my parents. By then I will probably already be "out" to my cousin. This will be an interesting event. I'm really scared. You see, I have to tell her because she will be working and going to school with me, being around me where I am open about myself. And even if I wanted to go back in the closet at school (which I don't), I couldn't. But I digress.
Maybe I'll take the initiative and go to a meeting of our school's Alliance of Lesbian, Gay & Bisexual People. Or maybe I'll go the next day (Sunday) to a meeting of a local gay-supportive group, Cincinnati Youth Group. It's a short while away, so I'll have to decide soon. I know what I should do, but once again, fear is hindering me.
While searching through press releases, I discovered something that irked me just a bit. It was in the summer newsletter of the Citizens for Community Values, a front for people who hate all forms of pornography, alternative sexuality and everything but baseball and mom's apple pie. (Isn't that a great expression? I got that from my senior government teacher in high school.) ANYWAY... I digress again. Apparently October 11th has another meaning too. They allow us to distribute the material freely, so I will share the article with you:
X-Homosexuals leaving the lifestyle by the thousands Michael Johnston, a former homosexual with the AIDS virus, cares and wants to help those who are caught up in homosexuality. On Wings Like Eagles, is a powerful video of Michael's life story that will help everyone understand homosexual behavior and how one man's life was almost destroyed. Michael recently completed a nationwide tour where he reached out to homosexuals and many left the lifestyle after hearing his story. Michael has launched October 11 as National Coming Out of Homosexuality Day. The date coincides with the pro-homosexual National Coming Out Day and was chosen to focus attention on the contradictions between the philosophy of homosexual activists and the values held by most Americans. As in the past, former homosexuals announce on that date they are leaving the lifestyle for a better life. For more information, contact: Michael Johnston, Kerusso Ministries [contact information removed].
They gave his phone number and e-mail address too, but I opted not to include it. Enough said, don't you think? God bless America.
Have a great month everybody... take care of yourselves. If you feel alone, don't worry. There is someone out there who loves you... it just might take some time to find him/her. And if you feel you need to talk to someone, there's about 3 billion ways to get in touch with me. The quickest would be my email at firstname.lastname@example.org or my ICQ address is 2510440.