Patrick D.

October 1997


Since October 11th is National Coming Out Day, it would seem fitting that I write about coming out, huh? See, the thing is... I did all of that back in my June,July, and August Oasis articles. So there goes THAT topic! I said at the end of my September article that I might address items of a cult issue. Okay, so let's hit it. I'll warn you, I'm not touching upon this subject in the manner you think I'm going to.

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Religion. That's such a shaky word these days. It's right up there with "beliefs". Gay youth are in purgatory when it comes to both. All to often, I see kids running from the common Judeo-Christian teachings and heading (almost fashionably) towards the Land of Wiccan. I have to ask you this: Are you doing it because you are dissatisfied with the positive teachings of your original faiths and are seeking answers.... or are you just doing it to be "cool"?

See, there's a difference between having a personal connection with God or another deity (with or without the Church, it doesn't really matter.... that's why it's called FAITH)... and just labeling yourself as something you're not. I know many people that have a strong belief in God (and even Jesus in some aspects), but these same people disagree with many of the negative teachings of the Church. This is fine. As long as it is truly what you BELIEVE. Then there are those that foolishly believe that they absolutely have to adhere to the teachings of the church or synagogue they grew up in because they do not know any better. This is foolish. This is not faith. This is what is called a blind following. And it doesn't do you any good spiritually to blindly go along with something you truly do not believe.

Here's where we come back to the world of Wiccan. For those totally out of the loop, this is not a satanic religion. True Wiccan focuses on the powers of the earth, rather than an external supernatural entity. It is not witchcraft (although many people have often confused the two). There are an exceedingly large number of gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth that are running out and accepting Wicca as the "religion of choice". Not because they truly believe, but because it "is just soooo cool".

I have that strange feeling that some of these are the same people that embraced bisexuality in 1993, 1994, 1995, and 1996 because it was soooo cool to be bisexual. Strange. Most of these new "bisexuals" seem to have a hard time relating in that manner to members of the same sex. Hmmm. I can't imagine why? Could it be because you phonies are not bisexual at all? Because you are living a bigger lie than you started out with in the first place? It's like fashion or food or Tammagochis (although many of you are probably a bit old for Tammagochis). If it's supposedly cool, America's youth just jump on the bandwagon for the ride. Who cares if it's really who you are or not. You just want to be "cool".

Get over yourselves. Bisexuals? Of the authentic variety, there are many. Wiccans? There are a great deal of true believers. And in each category there are also thousands of wannabes. It is sick. What is so wrong with being yourself? I'll tell you why. If you are truly gay, and are maybe just realizing it for the first time, or at a young age, the one thing that seems to be so important is fitting in. Being accepted. Sometimes it seems hard to be individualistic. So what is the best way to "fit in"? Why, to be something you're not. That seems to be the general belief, anyway. Let me tell you something. You will be a lot happier if you do not jump into something you have no business jumping into. So here are three pieces of advice I will give you this month to help you in your seemingly confusing state in life:

1) Believe what you want to believe. That is why it is called that. Belief. You don't necessarily have to belong to a church or go the local services on Sunday (or Friday and Saturday if you are Jewish). If you believe in nothing at all, then you are sad. If you believe in something... anything, then that IS cool. As long as it is yours. At long as you are being honest with yourself.

2) Be attracted to whom you really are attracted to. If you are straight, then BE straight. If you are gay or lesbian, then BE gay or lesbian. And if you are truly bisexual, then go for it. Even if you are asexual, then you have come to an understanding with yourself. But don't fake your sexuality just to be "cool". You will just be found to be a phony. And that simply isn't cool at all.

3) If you are honest with yourself in the above two categories, help someone out who is not. This can only make you a better person. Helping someone out is a wonderful feeling. And being a friend will always be cool.

©1997 Oasis Magazine. All Rights Reserved.