October 1997


"I'm here and I wonder if I'm lost,
Cause I can't seem to understand the way I feel
I'm not here to be a creep, I'm just feeling incomplete,
So take me home..." - Econoline Crush

For those who wonder, the reason I open with what seems to be the trademark lyric, is the simple fact that the lyric is a powerful tool. I know this and so do you, the reader. Everyone has a song that affects their life; and with me, there's something in lyrics which I find coincides with my column. OK, explanation done.

The above lyric I think relates to my trip to Regina. My friend Andrew showed me around the first night in, while on Saturday I headed to the lounge. This was done with very mixed results. Most of the men to whom I at least tried to say hello, snubbed me on sight. What a night. I eventually did meet a couple of really nice gay and straight men who befriended me. So maybe my trip wasn't in complete vain. I also met people outside of the bar as well, which was not bad. I found myself a lot more comfortable talking to these folks outside the bar. I'm not sure what it was, but the fact that I was given a cold reception doesn't say much for the gay community in Regina. And I wonder why it's so invisible. It only makes me take comfort in what I think is one of the best communities in Saskatchewan, despite it's many flaws.

The other reason for my visit was to spend time with my best friend. He has recently moved out to Alberta. The time I spent with him was phenomenal, which lead to immense depression after he drove away the Sunday after my visit. I know we will always be best friends, but it tears me apart inside due to the fact he's now so far away. It's just the fact that he's gone and I'm really feeling it.

When I arrived back, a lot of stuff changed, including the realization that most of my friends in the gay community are very self-destructive. I'm really disappointed that it took awhile to see this and it's too bad. But I'm almost sure about this with any community in the world. It's just really stressing to see my friends mess up their lives with drugs, sex and enough alcohol to preserve them until they're 500. I really noticed this when upon returning to Diva's for the very first time, I did not enjoy myself. I didn't even drink any booze and I just had enough. To occupy my time I have done other things such as go to other events, including Canada's Edgefest, one of the best outdoor festivals I have ever experienced.

Apart from that, I'm so glad to be back at University. It's just great to see so many people on campus, especially good looking ones!! Well that's all I got to say this month E mail me and let me know your thoughts and ideas. Till then.....

"Be here now" - Oasis

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