J. Greg

A poem by Michael Brigham

Longing for the one I want
but cannot have
eats me up inside
all that's left of me is an empty shell
I'm numb to the pain by now.
So close
an inch seems like the greatest distance
the lingering silence an eternity.
Graceful movement, almost a dance
of the slender arm graced by pale blue cotton.
An oxford button-down may hide your neck
but it can't hide your soul.
Fingers touch briefly
gentle smiles appear, but will soon fade.
so deep and intense
look into mine,
a moment shared, yet only one out many I wish to share.
You hold a dark secret of mine
my trust is second only to my love.
Yet unspoken words still pain my heart
and I long to hold you in my arms.
My sealed lips do me no good
for you know not of my affections and I can only hope you feel the same of me.
But time passes slowly for you and I
the days without you I mourn and the days with you I treasure.
For two days out of seven I am in bliss
yet the other five I must satisfy with dreams.
If I could find the courage
I would tell you
how much you've meant to me;
how you've filled a void my life.
For now, however, you must deal
with my half-hearted attempts at a
flirtation that I keep secret
for fear of what others say or think or do
but more fearful of what you might do.
Perhaps one day
I won't be so scared or feel so lonely without you.
Can you open your eyes and see?
Or must we wait until I find my strength?
My courage falters as daily mysteries plague my mind.
In a crazy world where there are spotted trains and cloned sheep
I hope that some logic, some sanity still dwells within the hearts of you and I
that I may cling to a shred of hope, like Pandora and her box.
But of course, there is no logic in love
only a tangled web of human emotions.
So desperate are we to realize some part of ourselves that we look for it in another.
I've found me in you.
I am alone.

©1997 Oasis Magazine. All Rights Reserved.