West Hollywood Heaven

By Paul Sepuya

This is the story of a little old man
Who thought he could see into God's eyes
But as the revelations soon began
He was sure to receive a surprise:

Evangelical was he, full of "good intentions"
On the television he was, trying to save humanity
He was preachin' and yellin' to the convention
So loud, full of ignorance, full lack of sanity
"I would like to see an America where it's illegal
"To be a homosexual, to God an abonishment
"Men with men, women with women, it's less than regal
"We must take a moral stand, give them punishment
Now the crowd was enthusiastic, up and alive
The man was a bit too upbeat (as well as his cholesterol)
his heart just stopped one, two, ten, beats- he died
The viewers in shock wailed and prayed as they saw him fall

Wham! Bam! "Welcome to the afterlife, sir,"
"But I'm sorry to say you got it wrong," the chauffeur says
"It looks all right to me, golden gates, thanks mister"
"Clouds, beautiful blond angels with harps, looks OK"
Then he picks up his bags, turns around and behold!
"But wait, how can this be! Can those two be gays!"
"This sure isn't the picture of heaven I've been sold!"
"They're supposed to be in hell, the Bible says!"
Off he went to see the Heavenly Father about this...
"Lord, how did those disgusting people get in here?"
"Well, there's no sin in what they did, love is bliss-"
"And I can't punish you for taught ignorance, you hear?"
"They lived a rewarding, loving, respectful life together"
"Yes, deserving paradise, after what they've been through"
"And you never knew the ignorance told to you since forever"
"So punishment is a bit of heaven and a bit of hell for you"

"So here you are, in eternal comfort, with every want"
"However, your home, I specially placed, to get even,"
"Into the local gay, lesbian, and bisexual haunte"
"Say hello to the West Hollywood block of Heaven!"

©1997 Oasis Magazine. All Rights Reserved.