November 1997

Since this is my first article, I'll give some info on me. I'm a 19 y/o gay guy recently relocated to a dump town in upstate Illinois. I moved here from Kansas City, Mo. where I lived for several years and had a short-lived attempt at college. That's where I became submersed in the gay world... and at 17 it was one hell of a head check for a kid who spent the previous four years of high school in a small Missouri town. My upbringing wasn't totally rural, though. I was born and semi-raised in Atlanta, Ga. I seem to move around a lot, this is the fifth place I've lived in the last two years. I've been out since I was 16 to most of my friends, parents, and others. Most people can't believe I'm gay because I don't fit the typical gay 'profile' or stereotypes. The gay community doesn't offer much for me.

I get bitter at the world sometimes because I feel that I am kind of unwelcome somewhat on both sides of my life. One side of life is like the straight friends and cool guys I hang with that dress/act/talk similar to me. I am out to most of them so me being queer is not an issue, but I get to hear about some dude wanting to fuck this chick or that chick. Or what's my opinion on that chick's breasts. Can I say '...damn he is soooo fine'? Not really, it would be pointless and disturbing to some. The other side are the gay guys who aren't bothered if I want to gawk at some pretty guy or the girls who want to know if I think this or that guy is cute. The only thing is that I rarely have anything in common with most gay men, and I prefer hanging with guys.

I don't want to make everything seem bad even though I haven't dated anyone in months! I have a decent job that keeps me busy and leaves me free on the weekends so I can go on road trips to Chicago and go visit friends in Missouri. And I have plenty of interesting/positive things to write about but I'll keep this short. Anyway I waste lot of time usually and I tend to get bored easy so I like to get surprise e-mails. You can send correspondence to cim303@hotmail.com

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