Shaun Hutchinson

November 1997

It's that time again kids..... IT'S STORY TIME.

I'm feeling strange right now, so I figured it would be a good time to write my article for Oasis. I broke up with David. David was this guy who had so bravely approached me at my job. We'd been dating, and things seemed to be going well. As it goes however, that euphoric feeling one gets when first in a relationship wore off. I started getting annoyed by our differences. I began to notice that we had nothing in common, and that we couldn't find things in common. The final straw was a Saturday night not too long ago. We were supposed to be going to an intimate party at his friend's house. David lived a half hour from where I work, and the party was an hour from where he lived. So I had to drive thirty minutes to his house, then an hour to the party, an hour back to his house, and forty-five minutes back to my house. I wasn't looking forward to it.

That said, I was already having a bad day by the time I picked David up, and he was getting on my nerves. When we got to the party, I was suddenly dragged back to my high school years, left thankfully behind, because the party had been crashed by a group of obnoxious kids. David and I were talking to his friends, when he leans over to me and asks me if it was all right if he did cocaine. I knew he had done drugs in the past, but he said he was done with drugs. I told him I wasn't his mother, and that he could do whatever he wanted. When he couldn't get his hands on any drugs, he whined about it all night. I was pissed. We finally left at about 4:30 a.m., and by then I had decided it was over.

The problem is that we'd started sleeping together. Actually, we had sex on the first date. Now, I'm the type of person who always believed that I didn't want to sleep with anyone I didn't love, but it just sort of happened, and it kept happening. He didn't take the news very well, but I knew that the relationship (if there really was one) wouldn't last.

I believe now more than ever that you (myself included) should wait until you're in love before having sex with someone. I'm not going to say that I didn't enjoy it, but it became the base of our relationship, and that hid the fact that we just weren't made for each other. Plus, in the end, it degraded something I hold highly. Sex, to me, is like the highest form of giving. You offer yourself up to someone totally, leaving nothing closed. I know it sounds idealistic, but that's how I feel. I slept with a couple of girls in high school, trying to pretend I was straight, and I hurt one badly. It was then that I decided to wait until I was in love. I figured it would be different with a guy, but it's not. It hurts the other person, and it hurts you.

I don't know. I don't talk to David anymore. Maybe I can't face him, or maybe I just don't care. I can't say that I regret sleeping with him, it was a hell of a lot of fun, but I know I should have waited. Next time I will.

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