November 1997

Candle In The Wind

Hi all, thanks again for tuning into another episode of Schell's so called bisexual life. It's been a hectic month as life in University is always a treat. As you can tell by the title, this month I'm going to talk about grieving. But considering that everyone has already heard about the Diana story, I'm going to talk about something a little closer to home.

This fall, my supervisor at work had gone to the hospital after coughing up blood that morning. Doctors found inside her a tumor the size of a grapefruit on her lung. Of course, all of us worried, because we knew that something was up. My boss was married with two children, loads of stress and she smoked like a chimney. She consoled me for being the only male at my workplace, and always went above and beyond the call of duty in order to get stuff done. But she never really took care of herself. The stress and the smoking combined with reality appeared to be too much.

I remember, upon coming out in the early part of the year, and not telling her, talking about being gay. This all stemmed from discovering the homophobic atmosphere contained at my workplace. She asked me if I thought it would matter if I was gay. I said to her probably yes, because of these policies. Even though she thought I wasn't, she said I should have nothing to worry about, if I ever did. From giving me time off when I really needed it, to being a great friend, she was no doubt a candle in the wind.

She passed away this Thanksgiving weekend. Even though the lung tumor was removed, even though the odds looked great and she was looking better. The doctors found three brain tumors. I found out only the day before writing this article. She was 35, only a year younger than my mother, and now she was gone.

I know from time to time I complain about being single, and I also complain about other things. And even though later on I'll probably forget, this month I will do my best to take the time to give special thanks for what I do have. Because she lost everything

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