November 1997

Hmm... It's November... Fall has, um, fallen, and this young boy's heart turns to those of the same sex... In other words, I NEED A BOYFRIEND! I'm getting pretty freaking desperate here. Oh well. I've also been thinking about coming out... The closet's getting pretty ugly. Sometimes I just want to grab someone and yell "I'M A FAG DAMMIT! AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK!" but a) I would soon be restrained by odd people in white suits, b) mental illness doesn't look so great on a college application, and c) my arse would be sore from the beatings of many rednecks. So there goes that idea. I'd just like to see what it's like to live in full truth with my family and friends. To be able to talk endlessly about guys. To have a boyfriend. Oh well.

I'm getting pretty pissed at how the schools are run here. Today in Honors World History, someone made a remark about how she bet Alexander the Great probably had a wife in every country. Well, this of course brought up the topic of homosexuality (by the way, for those of you who don't know, Alexander the Great was a queer) and this minister's daughter shouted out "I guess he wasn't that great," which REALLY pissed me off. I mean, why would not be great just because he was gay? Following that came about fifteen minutes of fag jokes and the over-use of the word "Queen", all of which the teacher not only let happen, but ADDED TO IT!

Why is it excusable to laugh and joke about gay/les/bi students, but degradation to ANY OTHER group would result in serious punishment? Is it just me or is that extremely hypocritical? I mean, considering that the number of queers (1 out of 10 people) greatly outnumbers the number of Asian-Americans (in our school, 1 in 268) and Native Americans (roughly 2% of the population) put together, I'd think the education system would've woken up by now to the needs of young queers. Of course, it may just be my school. I know there are schools who support their gay youth. My school, which banned the teaching of safe sex in health class, obviously isn't one of them.

Oh well, enough ranting for now. It is fun though. You should try it. I'm really not as serious as I seem in these columns. Hehehe... Oh yeah, e-mail me! Please! Siva@cyberjunkie.com! Bye! Oh, one more thing, I'd like to hear your experiences coming out and some advice. This closet sucks.

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