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Shaun Hutchinson

December 1997

I'm happy to say that this is my last column for Oasis.

Now, I'm probably not the only person that's happy that this is my last column, but if I've really been that bad.....tough.

It might seem strange that I'm happy as I write my last column, but I am in fact very lucid as I write this, and my reasons are just as sane. For the past six months I've written on a variety of topics. I've often noted that this column has never had any sort of theme, and it has been my quest to find one. As I write now, I realize that Oasis provided me a place to work out my conflicting emotions on what it means to be gay. Writing my column every month was an odd sort of therapy for me, and I'm happy because I don't need it anymore.

With my first column, I began writing about my suicidal tendencies, and while those haven't really changed, I'm more comfortable with who I am than ever before. That is what writing for Oasis has provided me. I was able to express my feelings on the problems young kids have with being queer. By doing this, I was able to sort out my own feelings and put things into perspective. A big thank you should go out to Jeff and all the people that make Oasis a warm place for gay youth.

I really only have one last thing to say, and that is: Don't listen to people who say that the columns are becoming repetitious (reference to a November columnist who will remain unnamed). Keep writing for as long as it helps. I found as I wrote that I was doing this more for myself than anyone else, it just so happened that other people could relate to what I was saying. So what if you (I) keep rehashing the same themes? Somewhere out there is a kid logging on to his computer for the first time, searching desperately for someone who understands the pain of coming to terms with being gay. Those kids benefit from our repetitive rambling, and those that say Oasis doesn't make a difference are a bunch of jaded fools. Not to long ago, I was one of those kids logging on for the first time. Enough said.

Take what you need, and leave what you can. It's not what you say, it's what you mean and what you do. That's all that counts.

I do hope that I was able to entertain some of you.

Oh, and as a parting gift, I'm jumping on the bandwagon and asking someone to name this lyric. If you know it, send the song name and band to johngalt@shadow.net and I'll give you a nice pat on the cheek.

"Jaded eyes see clearly, but only half of what's there
Good old days are left behind, what's left if boredom and despair.
But sometimes every once in a while...
It's beautiful, I would say, I wouldn't have it any other way, If I said different, it would be a lie.
What was once a rebellion is now clearly just a social sect,
But are you just upset because your own social clique has left?
Leave when you want, because I know that someday I will too
But I won't burn my bridges and be just another jaded fool!"

Peace out all. It's been fun. Shaun


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