Aztec Yhessin

January 1998

We are all as good as dead.


Some of us are as good as dead.

Okay, I can accept that.

None of us are as good as dead.

None of who?


There are talks and thoughts within the Oasis writers, readers, and questioners about validity of certain subject matter and its creators. Now I'm not going to name any names, or point my finger at anyone, but it has come to my attention that some of the subject matter and creators of the subject matter within the feature columns 'realm' is questionable. So questionable that at times I've assumed, and believed that, in reality--it's fiction.

Let me start by saying this. The existence of a thirteen-year-old who is gay, who has known it for years, who has a brother who is gay, who has known it for years, who has a father that used to be gay, who has parents that accept him, who have known it for years, who has been sexually active for years, who has a boyfriend that has been sexually active for years, whose boyfriend has parents that accept him, whose boyfriend's parents accept him and his boyfriend's sexual and emotional relationship, who doesn't have any pubic hair, though can write clearly, and concentrate on certain topics... is almost unbelievable. No, it is unbelievable. If there is ONE thirteen-year-old with these attributes that DOES exist, it is completely rare, but the thirteen-year-old in question has a boyfriend who he has implied is exactly the same. That is the part that is really unbelievable.

Looks like I just pointed my finger at someone. Yeah, and if you're reading this, I'm not trying to get on your ass or anything. I'm just presenting my questions publicly, since a lot of people are questioning the same thing, just not bringing it out in the open.

Let me say this next, my only reason for bringing this up is that fact that I hope Oasis will always stay as pure and non-corrupted as possible. When a very questionable thirteen-year-old publishes ideas and experiences on this wide of a medium (The Internet), you tend to wonder how much of these ideas and experiences are getting to eleven, twelve, and other thirteen-year-olds that are wondering why their life cannot be like his. A life that I deem, unrealistic.

This thirteen-year-old in question never writes about school, never seems to get one bad comment on homosexuality from anyone, and although he gets upset about things that seem to get thirteen-year-olds upset, the reasons seems manufactured, as though their placed in the writing to uphold some sort of sense of validity.

But enough of this. If the thirteen-year-old in question is reading this, please either e-mail me at aztecyhessin@usa.net or write something in your next column to defend yourself. I think all we would really like to see if some verification of your age. Talk about school, talk about something other than your thirteen-year-old boyfriend, and your prominent gay family. Talk about something other people your age can relate to, not something that most of us deem your fantasy.

We are all living our lives to the fullest extent.


Some of us are living our lives to the fullest extent.

Ok, I can accept that.

None of us are living our lives to the fullest extent.

Who is us?

Who is us? A whole bunch of youth that are consumed by our self-identification of our alternate sexuality.


I thank the online world for a lot of things. One of the biggest changes for me in my life was when I had my first experience talking in a gay youth chat room on America OnLine. It provided me with support and the chance to talk to others like me who were going through the same problems and having the same questions about themselves. Back then, no one had a scanner, cyber-sex wasn't a big thing yet, and everyone just had fun online. You would hardly ever see someone providing their STATS to a room, or offering that they were a 16m Blond, Blue-eyed, and loved phone.

Now, this is something that has changed dramatically over the years. I can imagine what younger youth go through online, and why I don't find that many anymore who just want to talk. If you don't provide a profile, your STATS, and a pic, rather it be really you, or a fake (it has to be nude, otherwise no one wants to see it), you don't get talked to. It's a terrible stereotype that you must fit into online these days, otherwise you're just an outcast that haunts the room without talking.

These youth, when they get older, instead of being activists, or publicly (or privately) proud of who they are, they are going to go directly from the chat rooms, where they spend their nights looking for phone sex (because that's the only thing they seem to know), to gay bars, and dance clubs, and become members of a prestigious orgy group, instead of realizing what the true meaning of being an out homosexual is, to celebrate individualism, diversity, and confidence.


The subjects that I am speaking of online, though, don't entirely exist only in Cyberspace. The idealism of BE GAY FOR SEX has leaked from this online community into the community of gay teenagers offline, and the influences that used to revolve around being gay, coming out, being proud, and helping other gay teenagers do the same has turned into, be gay, keep your true identity safe, go to teenage clubs, introduce yourself to HOT guys as someone who you are not, have unsafe sexual relations, because you're required to, and then do the same next weekend.

It's a very bad image and collection of idealism that the DE-evolving gay community is offering it's youth peers.

Now, I'm not sure if what I'm seeing only exists in my area locally, or if it stretches over the nation. I've never been in a region where the gay population overthrows the straight population, though I'm sure that'll be where I settle myself in time. I live in a very small city, South Bend, Indiana, home of Notre Dame, and the Football Hall of Fame. An area that consists of only four homosexual/bisexual/lesbian/t* youth groups, two that are only open to college students, one P-FLAG chapter, and a chapter of Indiana Youth Group (a gay/lesbian/bisexual/t* youth group that's based out of Indianapolis, though has chapters flowing through Indiana in Ft. Wayne, South Bend, Bloomington, Muncie, Lafayette (the location of Purdue University), etc.). Though, while this area only consists of four gay/lesbian/bisexual peer groups (whether youth or otherwise), the area also consists of five gay bars (we all know what gay bars are meant for most places), and many gay-male oriented leather, SM&BD, and orgy 'clubs.'

Now, I wonder what that is saying to the youth around here who know about it.

I don't have an answer, or a reason why this has come about, but I do understand why most people now-a-days relate homosexuality to SEX. When you're heterosexual, you're described as someone who's attracted to members of the opposite sex, when you're homosexual, you're described as someone who likes to get it up the butt, when you're bisexual, you're described as someone who is confused or looking for attention, and when you're transgender, you're described as a weirdo.

I guess this is the problem with some areas where this sex-related idealism is growing.

I do know that in my area, being an out homosexual, bisexual, or lesbian is not about diversity, stance, or confidence. Being an out homosexual, bisexual, or lesbian in my area is about being REALLY FUCKING HORNY.

Just my $1

Aztec Yhessin

Aztec Yhessin, is a pseudonym for this bisexual eighteen-year-old Midwestern farm-boy-who loves the city, Tori Amos, Liz Phair, and anything MYST or NARNIA related. He believes that habitual narcotic use is very unhealthy, and that if the human race all stayed living in trees, we'd all be a lot better off. He's been writing for Oasis for four issues now, and is concerned since he has only received four e-mails about his articles. He'd like to hear from you, he's interested in your opinion, and he can be reached at aztecyhessin@usa.net.

[About the Author]


©1998 Oasis Magazine. All Rights Reserved.