February 1998

'Ello there-

My name is DH. This is my first column, so bear with me. I guess I should start off by telling a little about me, not like there is very much to tell. I was born and raised in a small town in California called Salinas. It's only know for a couple of things, so don't get freaked if you've never heard it. Salinas is known for being the home of the California International Airshow, Salinas California Rodeo, birthplace of John Steinbeck, and being the Salad Bowl of the World. Yippee!

I'm a junior in high school, so that would make me 16. I'm not like most 16 year olds, though, because I haven't gotten my drivers license, due to the fact that I'm afraid of driving. I'm also gay, so there is another deviation from the "norm". Well, not completely gay, more like 90% Gay and 10% Straight. I like looking and girls and I think about having a relationship with them, but not having sex with them. Well, anyway, I'm rambling. I'm above average smarts, but I'm not a brainiac. I go to the only school that you don't get shot at or stabbed, but it is a Christian school. All boys at that, but I'm not really complaining about that, except for the fact that the other gay guys at my school are damn good at keeping it hidden, because I certainly can't tell who they are. There are tons of cute guys, but none are, at least to my knowledge, gay.

Coming Out to My Best Friend

I had been on the Internet for a year and a half, and on IRC for 8 months. Going to GLBT Sites and talking to other teens on IRC helped me come to the conclusion to come out, at least to one person. I wasn't quite sure what my best friend thought of homosexuality, but I started to test him. I'd occasionally ask him what he thought of different things that had to do with alternative lifestyles, and things like that. He would answer them, but he started to figure it out.

So, I told myself that I would tell him on the 4th of July of 97, but it didn't quite work out that way. I chickened out. Two days later on the sixth at 2:32 am, I told him. After trying to spit it out over the course of the night, I told him that I wasn't like other guys. He kept on asking what did I mean, so then with a knot in my stomach and a few tears running down my cheek I blurted out the words. "I'm Gay."

He was kind of shocked, but that was to be expected. He said that he was okay with it, and he sticks to that to today. Things are different between us now, but not in a bad way. We can talk more open to each other and have nothing to hide.

That is it for this month. I'll tell you all more next time.

BTW, I'm signing this under a pseudonym, because anything can come of this, and I'm just taking precautions. If you want to contact me, email me at <the-chosen@rocketmail.com>.

[About the Author]

©1998 Oasis Magazine. All Rights Reserved.