March 1998

[Just another plug about my show, happening the first two weekends in March at Bellevue Community College. Angels in America Part One: Millennium Approaches (A Gay Fantasia on National Themes) plays 6,7,12,13,14 at 8:00p. I'm stage managing, and it's a really great show. End of plug.]


I'm, admittedly, a country boy. I'm about 30 minutes away from Seattle, and 15 minutes away from the nearest "town". I'm living in a really rural area and it's so hard to be gay! SO I usually escape to the nearer-towns of Bellevue, Issaquah, and Kirkland. But, it's still not that easy to go around with a queer group of people. The people kind of watch you as if you were an exhibit in the zoo. Watching, turning back and discussing, checking back to see what happened, and then conversing again.

So I've been having my first experiences of mutual same-sex affection.. I met someone on Valentine's day when I was kind of set-up by my friend Tiffany. (His name is Chris, BTW..) So here we are in a Cafe in Kirkland, and people are watching us, and I realize I don't know how to be a boyfriend! Seriously!

The only real other fling I had was with a girl... in 8th grade. Here I am a freshman in college and I haven't had a relationship before!

I wonder if there's an "Idiots Guide to Dating"? That would sell so well! The possible chapters would include: "Phone Calls & Small Talk", "Picking a Destination", "Questions to make sure to ask", or "To hug or not to hug, that is the question!"

By now, everyone else has had so much experience I feel like I've been left behind in the dust! So, I'll be stumbling my way through this, trying not to make too many mistakes.

My Future

Also, I've realized these last two weeks that what I thought I was going to do for the rest of my life, theater, isn't really what I want to do for the rest of my life! That, and I'm not sure if I want to stay at my current job because of a difficult manager, and I'm not even sure I want to stick with the same religion! I'm in some sort of flux... I hope my changes are for the better.

"Direction" is kind of a fickle thing. When you have the direction and the drive, it seems like nothing can stand in your way. But then suddenly the wind dies, and you're left with limp sails, wondering what will happen.


[Your questions, comments, and story ideas are welcome! E-mail me at chris-bkstage@geocities.com ]

Christopher is an 18-year-old community college freshman in Redmond, Washington. His IRC-Alter-Ego is "JavaBoy18" and his favorite color is dark purple.

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