[oasis]
[columns]


Kristen Foery

April 1998

Changes

So many things have happened in my life since the beginning of the year. It's hard to believe it... and I thought that last year had some significant changes; nothing compares to falling in love.

This month, April, is the anniversary of my coming out. My friends and I are all having a party to celebrate the occasion. I think back and remember how scared I was...

And now to the real point of my column.

My girlfriend Dana and I became engaged on Valentine's Day.

I'm fully aware that maybe we're a little crazy. We're both fifteen, it's long distance, and oh, yeah... illegal to get married. (Damn the religious right to the blackest pits of hell!) Our friends have taken this news with decidedly mixed reactions; so far, though, they've all promised to show at the wedding. Which won't be for quite some time, but planning ahead never hurts, you know.

So Dana and I are two girls in a long distance, primarily online relationship that is interfaith, illegal, looked down on upon society, and not exactly something we can announce to our parents.

None of that matters, because I love her. The world can go to hell, we know that we're right.

It's amazing what love can do to a person. It is the most wonderful feeling, and I am blessed to have her.

I am involved in my school's theater program. At the moment I am propmaster for our production of The King and I. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, it's a story about and English schoolteacher who goes to Siam in the 1860s and her experiences. One of the main storylines is that of Tuptim and Lun Tha, who are lovers. They are forbidden to be, however, because Tuptim is one of the king's many wives. They have these two incredible duets; "We kiss in the shadow" and "I have dreamed". They always remind me of same sex relationships... the secrets, the covertness... the wanting to be free, be able to kiss in the sunlight and not be afraid. I have not really been able to explain to some of my friends, even though they know about me and Dana, why I start crying whenever I hear those songs.

Maybe someday.

One of the people I recently came out to wanted to know why I was going around "telling people about who I want to sleep with". I spent about forty five minutes explaining. It's not a matter of who we want to make love to. It's about who we are... many of the people I've come out to have never met a queer person. Especially not one who is fifteen. There are so many myths, stereotypes, misunderstandings. We are practically invisible.

I like to think that I can change things by coming out. Even if it's only a little bit of light shines into a closed minded homophobe's mind, then it will be worth it.

Keep the pride, as always.

Kristen


[About the Author]


©1998 Oasis Magazine. All Rights Reserved.