April 1998

The Two Most Common Elements

Tis I again . . . Gina. May I start this little story off with the fact that I hate science. Not all science, but most science. I am not a scientific type person but unfortunately my school code requires that I take at least 2 years of a lab science. So I decided that I would take the science course that's for kids that hate science . . . chem com. It's a course that was designed for students who are going nowhere near the field of science in their future. Well, I figured this would be perfect for me but little did I know that intelligence is not required for this course. Let me elaborate . . .

We started the year off studying the conservation of water. When the teacher asked the class if we could come up with any ideas on conserving water we were coming up with the basic ideas, you know, turn off the water when you're brushing your teeth, etc. etc. One of the girls in class raises her hand and comes out with the ingenious statement that will "solve all of our water problems." With everyone waiting for what she will say, what this great solution is, she exclaims, "Just dehydrate the water!" Like I said earlier, intelligence not required to take this course.

Now, that isn't all. There's one boy in my class, we'll call him Jack, that is a complete dork. Now, because I've been nice to him on occasion they figure that we're going out. (they still haven't figured out that I'm a lesbian) There's also a girl in my class, we'll call her Mae, who has the stereotypical lesbian haircut #69. Mae is my best friend and for a while they thought there was something going on between us. Sadly, there wasn't. (Note: Mae is not a lesbian, she has a boyfriend of two years.) So, as you may already be able to guess, I'm just really "lucky in love" in that class. blah.

As the only student with an A in that class, I am not very well liked. But that doesn't really bother me. For, I find that rather than use my class time as a natural science course, I'll use it as a social science observation course. In other words, I'll just observe everyone and draw my own little sociological theories. The first one I've come up with: The two most common elements are hydrogen and stupidity. I'm stuck in that class for another 3 and a half months but now that I've vented a bit I think I can make it through. Besides, with my own little sociological experiment going on, the class is a bit more bearable.

Thank the goddess I'm not taking a science next year. -- That's all for now boyz and grrls. You can email me at Rubyfrt@aol.com. I love email and always respond. love, g

"I fight fire with words, words are hotter than flames, words are hotter than water." a.d.

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