May 1998

Submissive Monkeys

"Private matters shouldn't be publicly discussed," she proudly proclaimed at the "Traditional Values Coalition Homosexuality & Public Policy" banquet dinner.

I turned my television on towards the end of this broadcast, just in time to see a music video entitled "It's not natural." You can pretty much guess what this song was about. "It's not natural. Just because it's popular doesn't mean it's cool...as glared at the screen on my TV, I see two more members being introduced into the gay community .. it's not natural."

Later, the creators of this video/song gave a speech on what they meant and how they feel about homosexuality and God. They do not believe gays, bis, and lesbians should be discriminated against in the workplace. They just believe they should not exist. They say God gave everyone the freedom to be who they want to be AS LONG AS IT'S BEHIND CLOSED DOORS. Then, they went on to say how they felt oppressed and how Christianity is being moved to the back of the bus. How they are being controlled by the gay community? I have one question.. why the fuck can't I go to the store past 6 p.m. on Sundays?

"As long as it's kept behind closed doors." That statement would mean that anytime they wanted to kiss their husbands, they would have to run home first and make sure no one was watching. Anytime they wanted to sing or make another music video they would have to run home and make sure no one was watching. Anytime they wanted to pray or discuss politics or religion or music or what kind of clothes they like to wear or who their friends are or what parties they went to.. they would have to run home and make sure no one was watching. And not just them, everyone. Everyone would have to run home and make sure no one was watching them live. That would result in no one living.

Then they went on to speak about how they wanted to look at what kind of hurt or suffering went behind "this gay behavior," implying that all homosexuals were subjected to some kind of torture as children.. that every gay person was trained or brain washed into their sexual preference. blah blah blah. They explained that they used the term "gay behavior" because a behavior is something that can be controlled. It is in the hands of a person unlike race or creed or religion?? Someone has no choice what religion they chose? The speech ended with "god created man for woman and woman for man" .. what about those of us who do not believe in God? Who were we created for? Now, I don't know about you, but I was not created for anybody but myself.

In conclusion, people are too fucking sensitive. Lighten up and realize that everyone has different ideas and that is just something that you have to live with. If someone doesn't like you, oh fucking well, live with it and be proud of who you are. I'm not saying let people walk all over you, just choose your battles.

I moved in with my sister and her boyfriend in Dallas a few weeks ago. This weekend, my sister and I went to her boyfriend's baseball game. Her boyfriend had told his best friend that my sister had had sex with another woman. The best friend told his wife. The wife told the entire team that my sister is a lesbian. My sister overheard the wife discussing her sex life with a few people. My sister turned around and goes "yeah ... and I hope to God I'm with another women before I die!" The look on this woman's face was the best thing I've ever seen. I almost broke my neck falling off the bleachers I was laughing so hard. It was great. Later that night, my sister kicked her boyfriend out of the apartment for completely unrelated reasons. I then found out that my sister is bisexual and that this experience with another girl was not just an incident of curiosity. That came as a big blow to the head. Never would I ever have suspected my sister to be bisexual, but I guess that just goes to show you that you can't conclude anything from how a person acts, walks, talks. No matter how well you know them, people surprise you everyday.

As my sister was telling me these things, I wanted to scream, "Hey, me too! I'm bisexual, too!" But, I didn't. I sat and listened and did my sisterly duties. Maybe next time.

I've heard rumors for years about my sister and other girls, but I dismissed these as petty gossip from relatives that couldn't understand why more than the majority of her friends have always been gay or bisexual or lesbian or transgendered. But now that I find out about my sister it makes me wonder. I heard somewhere that sexuality is mostly based on genetics. I don't know if this is true or much about it but if anyone does please email me. It astounds me that at least two of the three girls in my family are queer, and very possibly all three of us. I also have a lesbian cousin. I can't think of any other gay people in my family, but I am living proof that closets exist.

I was talking on the phone to my brother the other night. I am very against vivisection and we were discussing overpopulation and how disease is nature's way of controlling population. My brother was telling me about how nature has ways of adapting itself to situations. Then he was saying how homosexuality is nature's way of controlling the population??? I don't know what I think about this yet but if anyone has any opinion on it at all, please email me.



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