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James

May 1998

HATE IS NOT A FAMILY VALUE

Wow, May is here already and school is almost done for me. Hopefully, I graduated (I'll know in a few days after writing this.) I know I didn't write last month, that was because I have been very busy, so this month I have tons to write about.

Originally, this was to be an article about youth groups. Actually, that's what I was working on last month and the reason I didn't write. During March, I visited two groups: one in Windsor, Ontario, Canada called 1 in 10 and the other in Toronto, Ontario, Canada called LGBYT (Lesbian Gay and Bi Youth Toronto). Both meetings I enjoyed very much and it was great to meet so many people who are my age and gay and I suggest that if there is a youth group in your area for you to check it out, you won't regret it. If you are not sure if there is a youth group in your area and you are in Canada, check out Gay Canada (http://www.gaycanada.com) It's really a great way to meet new friends.

Now, as for what this column is turning into, and thus the topic "Hate Is Not A Family Value." Over the years, I have read a lot of coming out stories and most have been good. There have been a few bad experiences I have read about, but in general most parents do not have a very hard time with it nowadays and until this week I had not personally known anyone that had a bad experience. This bad experience is what I want to talk about this month.

Through the past few weeks, I have been talking with a guy I'll call Rick (not his real name, of course, but you knew that already, right?) Over Easter weekend, I went home to my mother's place and finally got to meet Rick. We had a great time together and have started to become quite serious. Well, as I was on my way back up to Sarnia to return to school on Monday, he came out to his father with whom, as you have probably already guessed from my preamble, all did not go well. After much yelling and shouting, Rick had thought that things had gotten back to pretty much normal until last night when I decided that I should talk with his father. So, I waited for him to come on line (IRC) and I messaged him and began to talk to him. His father seems to think that I "recruited" his son to be bi. Now his son is not allowed out of the house, except to go to school. As if by keeping him inside it will "cure" him

What I want to know is how in an enlightened time such as this, how any person can think this way? With so much information available, how can any person think that someone chooses to be gay and how someone could ruin a great relationship with their Son/Daughter just because of their sexual orientation? Whatever happened to the "unconditional love" that a parent is suppose to have for their child? It saddens me to think that a parent would disown their child just because of the person they love. But I guess that the only thing that you or I can do is to keep a stiff upper lip and try your best to make people see the light and realize that it does not make a difference whether a person is gay, straight, or bi... black, white, yellow or green. We are all people and every person has something to contribute to this world.

Well, I think I've gone on long enough so I'll say my goodbyes for this month and say that I love all the e-mail I get from writing for Oasis. Hopefully, I'll write again next month and be a College Graduate please keep your e-mail coming and if you have a coming out story could you send it my way. I'm adding a coming out story section to my home page.

James W. a.k.a. Kards18 (on IRC Undernet)
magicman@mnsi.net
http://www.geocities.com/westhollywood/village/5043


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