[oasis]
[columns]


Ocean Lam

May 1998

"Oasis Writers' Guild"

Do you write for Oasis? If the answer is "yes," do you want to gain entrance to one of the most prestigious yet little-known organizations around? That's right. The secretive Oasis Writers' Guild. In fact, it's so secretive that many of you may have not heard of it before. But that's okay. We're here to set things straight, so to speak. Membership not only allows you to add "street cred" to your writing, but it also proves that you do indeed write for Oasis. Moreover, it comes with exclusive rights, such as handing in columns way past the deadline.

The guild, although obscure, has had many applications from poseurs drawn to the lure of privilege -- including the ability to claim that they bitch to 35,000 people over the span of one month.

We, at the Oasis Writers' Guild, are tired of these fakers. We want the real thing: real writers who really write for Oasis. With this goal in mind, we've designed a quiz to filter out faulty applicants, so only proven writers will be granted membership. Are you a new writer for Oasis? Sorry. Although you can't get a membership due to protocol, do return and take the quiz after writing a few more columns. We're sure that all Oasis writers are dying for entrance into the Oasis Writers' Guild.

HOW THE QUIZ WORKS

Just scan through the following statements, and check off the statements that apply to you and your writing. Then, record the point value each statement that applies to you. Afterwards, tally up your score. If you get 20+ points, email us for a membership. It's that easy.

THE QUIZ

ABSENCE

COMING OUT

DRAMA

EMAIL

GUESS THE LYRIC

NAMES

QUOTATIONS

REFERENCE TO PAST ARTICLES

SUICIDE

SEXUALITY

SEX

Act now. Memberships will be going fast.

Ocean, 18, from Hamilton, Ontario, has a VIP membership for life.
catching@hotmail.com

Oasis Cutie of the Month: Joshua Weiss
Featured Article: http://www.oasismag.com/Issues/9708/column-weiss.html


[About the Author]
©1998 Oasis Magazine. All Rights Reserved.