I stand at the walkway, waiting for the subway train to come and take me home. Having just left Dupont Circle after a pleasant conversation with my friend at Soho, it's getting late in the night, and I stand there watching the people mill around on the walkway. One particular sight catches my eye. It's a young boy, holding his girlfriend in an embrace as they wait for the train. I find this sight one that warms my heart.
My thoughts drift to one thing that I have searched for a long time. I've looked around the internet, the IRC channels, and while its so remarkably easy to find sources of gay pornography. It is so difficult to find pictures, and stories of young people who really truly do love each other. I've only managed to find an handful of images and stories that I feel truly convey the feeling of love and respect for each other over the course of several months of looking.
While, on the other hand, if I so wanted, I could easily download hundreds of gay pornographic pictures from the binaries newsgroups in a single night.
Is this what everyone truly is like? Is everyone on the IRC channels only interested in a quick fuck? Is everyone in the AOL chat rooms only interested in immediate gratification? This is the conclusion that one would draw.
But yet I cannot sleep easy on this conclusion, such as the pea that kept the princess up all night, I do know that it does not apply to everyone, and there are those who are out on the Internet seeking friendship, seeking conversation, and seeking true love. They are not in the business of sharing stats, exchanging pictures and netsex. They're looking for something more meaningful.
Someone that they can sit down and talk with. Someone to cook dinner with. Someone to laugh with. Someone's lap to rest their head on when watching a movie at home.
One other columnist for Oasis, Aztec, who I find is in a class of his own, had the same sentiments in his last article (April 1998). Now I know that I'm not entirely alone in this feeling. I know that Aztec is not. I know that there are more of you out there.
Get in touch, let me know how you feel. Or contribute to Oasis. Either way, let it be known that not every young gay teenager is looking for sex and quick fixes.