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Ty

May 1998

Renewal

Easter has always been one of my favorite holidays, next to Christmas, because it represents renewal and hope, and with it occurring around the start of spring, the meaning is even stronger. This past month has given me an even better understanding of the term renewal because I have witnessed it in several strong ways lately, and yes, renewal walks hand-in-hand with hope.

After several long months of waiting we finally got to meet the newest addition to our family, and the experience was even better than I had expected! From now on I'm going to call him Aaron, but my parents have asked me not to reveal any details for the obvious reasons. I'm sure anyone who has read my column on a regular basis understands that. If not, tough luck.

I have to say that holding Aaron for the first time was the coolest thing I've ever done, next to the first time Eric and I messed around, I mean it's so amazing to hold in your arms something that you waited so long for and worried so much about that I'm lost for words to describe it!!!!

We had to scramble to get his nursery ready because my Mom has this superstition about not making the house ready for something that hasn't been born yet, in fact she didn't have a baby shower for that same reason. That seems a little bit paranoid to me, but it's not something I actually have any say in so I have to accept it.

There is something about having a new family member that bothers me, and I think it hit Chris and I at the same time. Since we're so much older than Aaron, we really won't have that much involvement with him after he starts going to school, so whatever impact we have on him will just be on his early days. I'll be in college by the time he's in first grade, and I don't know if I'll be going to a local school or not? That's so far in the future for me to even think about too much, but next year I'll be a freshman and I have to at least get some ideas on what I want to do with my life. To be totally honest, I have no clue as to what I want to do.

I think it would be smart for my parents to have another baby, so at least Aaron can grow up with a sibling, but do I have any say in that? No. I just wonder what he'll miss out on not having two brothers around the house when he's older? Chris and I will probably be more like uncles than brothers, and that's hard for me to accept but that very well may be the sad reality. I know a few guys at school with siblings that are in their late 20's and they hardly know them, and I hate to see that happen within our own family. I want Aaron to know me as someone other than the guy he gets to see a few times a year for holidays, I want to be someone he can turn to no matter what, like a brother should be.

If there are any readers out there going through the same thing I could sure use your input right now!

Another thing that crosses my mind enough is how are Chris and I going to tell Aaron about our sexuality? What will things be like for gays and bisexuals in ten or twenty years? I mean, he's only a few weeks old but is it ever too soon to think about those things? My parents are already planning for his college education!

Hope

After I wrote in a recent column about wanting to see younger writers than me I was sent a few e-mails by some younger guys which I thought was totally cool. Hey, it's nice to know someone's reading your column! One of those e-mails floored me, and I just felt overwhelmed because I didn't know what to write back to him.

Some of you may think that I had it bad because of how my parents have treated me, but I think I have it great compared to others that I have had to deal with. All around us there is suffering and lets face it, the often isn't a whole lot we can do to understand it. Look at recent school shooting in Arkansas. . . I just don't understand why that happened? Or what could make two boys younger than me do that? Something had to be seriously wrong there, but I sure don't have any answers. Quite possibly, they don't either.

During the last few weeks I've become close friends with another Oasis columnist named Trevor, and while his first column was pretty standard stuff, I think all of you are in for a shock when you read the second part. After learning of some of the things he has gone through I realize just how lucky I am, and maybe we should all be thankful for what we have.

Next month will mark my first year anniversary with Oasis, and I'm not sure what I'm going to write about yet so I'd love to hear from you about possible subject matter and I'm especially interested in knowing if there was any column you totally liked or hated, and why you feel that way?

Ty


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