June 1998

Hi all...this is again, John. This month, I'm finally ordering a Tori Amos CD, because a friend wanted me to (you should know who you are.)

This month, geez, I guess I could be stressed with my father, and well, it almost seems as though its a helpless cause.

I'm about to get my license, so I'm struggling with driving time, because of the new driving law, so my dad and I have tons of time to talk. We talked, and the subject of family just got into conversation. He is always stressing on how family bonds are the most important things that a person will ever be lucky enough to gain. He says that two things ruin the family bond, and that is if a man and a woman cheat, and if a man decides to be gay. AHHH, when did anyone say that a man decides to be gay? This was the first I'd heard of that. I'm gay, and I certainly did not choose to be. I said, "why does a gay man break up the family?"

He answered, "If a man wants to give up a life with a woman and raise a family, then that's his decision."

That was what hit me. I didn't think a man had the choice. I mean, I've always wanted children, I still do. That actually has been a dream for the longest time. Just the thought of forming a mind and watching it be successful. Having a kid is nearly impossible without sex with a woman, and I doubt an adoption agency is just waiting to give a child to a gay couple.

Well, this struck me. First, the fact that my dad had such and opinion, and secondly, that it might be true, but, not really. I'm just confused.

My dad's opinion is one that I'll have to shape as I get older and more confident about myself.

Anyone, feel free to write anything to me at trainvn23@hotmail.com


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