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Diego Mays

June 1998

The Power of Knowledge

I would like to take a moment to thank everybody that has written to me. I was surprised and glad that someone actually read my mumbo-jumbo. It's really appreciated.

My column for this month...I would like to start off with something that happened months ago. I had a friend named John (not real name) who I loved to hang around with, but he didn't know I was bi (or as I phrase it a bi guy with a preference toward guys). He really wasn't ready to know so I never told him. Then one day, he sat with me when I was with some of my gay-friendly friends. John had never sat with them and this was the first time he sat with me. On the good side, no one said a thing about my preferences. On the bad side, he was very uncomfortable with what my friends were talking about (which were gay topics). John still talks to me and wonders about me. He has never sat with my friends again. For a few days, the rumor mill was running around saying I finally got a boyfriend and he was good-looking to boot (Explanation: Since he was the first guy any of my friends had seen me around a lot they saw as my first boyfriend here at college and they thought that for my first time that I did a good job. However, John and I were just friends.)

I've never been a big fan of rumors. People are so unwilling to learn the truth by going to the horse's mouth. They are more willing to listen to an idiot (NOTE: It's not always an idiot. It could be the friend who doesn't have all their facts straight) and accept it. The point of the above story is that people should get their facts straight or at least ask the person what's going on.

Yet rumors are still get around. The current one (among a handful of people that I don't even know well): I wanted to start a relationship with a guy who didn't want one with me. Even though, this one is a little true I don't like strangers knowing my personal business. Who knows what the rumor of it is now? Funny that none of said people failed to mention that the guy was so unwilling to be with me that he slept with me while he was going with someone else. I just found out about the other person a few days ago so my self-esteem isn't actually doing great. I have another boyfriend now, but the fact that the first guy was messing around with someone when he was suppose to be with me isn't sitting well with me (Me loving honesty and all that). The last guy who messed me up like that left serious emotional scarring that still hasn't completely healed and it happened five years ago!!!

Mr. Jerk (a la two-timer) probably won't see this or probably he will. Who knows? To this day, I have more knowledge about him now than I had two weeks ago. I could use said knowledge to tear him apart. But you know what? I'm not going to do it. This isn't five years ago and I'm not a kid anymore. Like I said before, I have a boyfriend now. I'm more mature from the experience. I'm moving on.

Still, the knowledge is still in my mind and I could use it anytime. And behold, the power of knowledge: It can help you or hurt you.

Send emails to brandon528@hotmail.com. I will try to answer them as soon as I can. Summer looks like I'll be having computer probs before long.

Diego


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