Don't Lose Hope: Part II

by Trenton

I ran out the door and toward Los Torrez. As I approached the building I heard the last few seconds of "(Everything I do) I do it for you", that's our song. I ran up to the building and inside. I looked around, there weren't many people there. Matt was nowhere to be seen. I walked outside and just started crying. I figured he'd be here.

Then I heard a noise coming from the back alley. Was that a gunshot? My heart pounded at a thousand beats a second as I ran to the back alley of Los Torrez. I saw Matt, but I was too late. There he was, on the ground with a bullet wound in the head.

I fell to my knees and started crying again. I don't remember anything that happened for the rest of the night.

* * *

My name is Beth, and by now the entire school knows that I'm a lesbian. I have short black hair that sits just above my shoulders, brown eyes, and I'm poorly built in the area of my womanhood (not that I mind).

I was destroyed when Hope reacted the way she did when I told her how I felt about her. I already knew the answer was going to be know if I asked her out, She and Matt are practically attached at the hip. I just had to let her know before I completely lost it (my mind). Beside the fact that a small part of me was hoping she might be bi, but so much for that.

Hope finally returned to school today, after being gone for six weeks. We were all said about what had happened to Matt, and felt especially sorry for her. She was, very noticeably, depressed. She had obviously upset and confused, and that hurt me (I still have strong feelings for her).

That afternoon I ran into Hope on the way home from school. I had to leave a door open for her to talk to me, or I'd be kicking myself, if not worse, later. I approached her and told her I'd always be there to talk to. I also mentioned that I understood that we could never be more than friends, but I could live with that. She did not want to hear me say anything like that to her and made sure that everyone within earshot knew it. She screamed at me that I'd done enough to her already. She also told me she wanted me to stay out of her life, and that I could go to hell. She then reminded herself that I'd be going there because of my "chosen" sexual orientation. She then broke down crying there, on the sidewalk. I ran home as fast as I could without looking back.

My parents weren't home so I just ran into the house and slung my backpack in the entry-way. I ran to the kitchen and removed an eight-inch chef's knife from one of the drawers, and asked myself if I wanted to go through with this. I asked myself this same question while I sat in the wicker chair in my bedroom. I realized I'd probably never be completely over Hope. The scene of just a few moments earlier, as hope screamed hateful things at me, kept rolling through my head.

I hear my Mom's Honda pull up into the driveway, and decided that it wasn't worth it, at least not now. I ran down the stairs and put the knife back in the drawer. Something, then, occurred to me. I'd only been upstairs with that knife for a couple of minutes. My mom must have got off from work a couple of hours early. I looked up at the kitchen clock. I thought I'd been holding that knife for no more than five minutes. The clock was quick to tell me that I'd been up there close to two hours.

It was the day after my suicidal flash, and I was sitting at lunch. The few friends I had that normally sat by me weren't today. They were scared by the association of someone who "hurt" Hope so much. I was very sad today, because nothing in my entire life had gone right and this week has been worse than all of the bad times in my life combined.

Suddenly I noticed an attractive girl standing behind me. I noticed she was cute the moment I laid eyes on her so I figured "what the hell, I'll give her a thorough checking-out." She must have been about 5'6", an inch shorter than me. She had beautiful gorgeous, shoulder length, brown hair. Her green eyes looked like there were looking deeper into my soul than, even I have ever seen.

She broke the silence, and my concentration on her generous chest (puberty has been extremely kind to her). She introduced herself as Sara, and the next words she said would ring in my ears for an eternity. "I'd like to go out with you."

Sara and I became in-separable. We went to movies together. We ate together. We even had dental appointments together. Sara helped me do the one thing I never thought I be able to. She helped me get over Hope.

Things went well, but a week before the end of school Sara dumped Beth.



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