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Japer

July 1998

Hi everyone! I'm back from Mexico and today is my BIRTHDAY! woo-hoo! I'm officially 19 years old hehehe, times does fly but oh well! What's up with me? Well I'm half blonde now again, I hope they post my new picture.

I had a great time in Mexico City, tons of pollution but I can't let that ruin my time. I spent my time with a gay couple that are great friends of mine and learned a lot about their culture and other aspects.

Know what? Ever since I've been listening that Natalie Imbruglia song, I bought her CD and I don't have a clue but somehow Torn fills my empty space inside.. I don't know it gives me some kind of hope that someone somewhere is waiting for me, it just gives me a little bit of faith in the middle of nothingness.

OK, so I can have a lot of friends and but only a few are like my real friends, the ones that really worry for me, but somehow sometimes I feel so empty and confused inside, I want so many things and I don't know just where to start. I am OK, but I don't even know how to express everything with words. I got so many plans in my head, I want to work, I want to study, I want to move out of Puerto Rico, I just need change. And when I woke up this morning and said, "Crap. I'm 19. I feel old." I said "I want to change myself" I want to better myself for good. I'm not saying I'm a bad person or anything... not at all, I consider myself a very good person, I help people out a lot, but I don't help myself, And since I don't I'm not doing any good to myself.

So I hope everyone I don't know.. maybe can understand me better. Any ideas? I just hope that this year will be good to me and I'll be good to myself. Thanks for reading all this, I just needed to let it all these ambiguous feelings come out. Until next month,

Japer
joel@caribe.net


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