July 1998

I was astounded that I would have the chance to write more than once, and I'm really excited about being in Oasis with all of you. I wrote two different versions of my second article, but reading over them -- I realized, they didn't cover what I really wanted to cover.

It's amazing how things change -- two months ago, I started talking with a friend of mine about masturbation and sex. The masturbation part he denied until finally I was able to get it out of him. We talked, rather nervously, about sex and things -- he asked me if I would ever have oral sex with another guy. I took a risk, and said yes... he didn't, and said no.

Two weeks ago, that friend and another one called up and started talking about masturbation like it was nothing. I was really excited, especially because I had started this openness. Now I have four friends that will admit it, instead of one. Like I said, it's amazing how things change.

That's not all of it -- that friend, who first admitted it -- we'll just call him Jim -- told me last night that he would do anything with a friend-- 69, oral, etc. It didn't matter to him. I was very excited about that. I even told him I thought I was bi.. and that's putting it mildly.. and he said it was nothing and he had thought that once too. I really want to take this further, but I have my own self-doubts.

That's not all Jim told me about -- he also told him about a little experience he had that I simply didn't know how to respond to. He told me, not in very much detail, about how a man from his church in the gym sauna had fondled him to the point of near rape. I didn't know what to say, but I'm glad he got it off his chest. What would you guys do in this situation? E-mail me.. I need help on this.

Anyway, I'm hoping that I could have such an experience with Jim (that I talked about earlier.) I'm still trying to get back into shape.. I really slacked off and as hard as I work every day I don't think it's helping. I'm doing weights, sit-ups, pushups, jogging, everything. I can do it -- I just don't see much of a change, and I hope it won't affect my progress with Jim.

That's all for this month.

Like always,


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