Patrick D.

July 1998

Hello, everybody! It's been five interesting months since I've written anything for Oasis. As with anyone else, a lot has happened with me in those past five months. First and foremost, I landed a new job that I really like. Sure it only pays $6.50 an hour, but I'm a firm believer that fun is more important than money. At least until the bills come along, anyway. Second, is the fact that I've met a couple of guys from online here in wonderful Atlanta, Georgia, only to find out that they're all just assholes with nice bodies. It's strange that every gay guy I know online claims that they would love to have a loving relationship with another guy (or so they say). Yet in real life, these same people only seem to want to meet to get off. What's up with that? I, myself, used to like messing around with no commitments, but now it's just getting to be unfulfilling and annoying. I've been dying to find a cute guy that wants more than just what's in my pants. If they're out there, they're either hiding or taken.

There's a fifteen-year-old boy here that I know that claims to want a loving relationship with another boy his age. Yet, what really happens is that he meets much older total strangers from online late at night and has sex with them. Then he never talks to them again. He claims that once he has sex with a guy, he no longer believes it when they tell him how wonderful and attractive he is. To top it off, the boy I am referring to is a devout Catholic who is having some major problems in dealing with the fact that he is gay. I personally think that he goes out and has unfulfilling sex with total strangers to convince himself somehow that he really isn't gay, and that the bad experience should signify that he was "meant" to be straight. What's even worse is that he has recently taken to accepting money in exchange for sexual favors from forty-five-year-old men. The boy claims to be looking for love, but all he's doing is hurting himself... in more ways than one.

There's also a very cute "bisexual" guy that lives in nearby Athens named Brandon (or Lee, depending on whom you ask,) who seems to be keeping score with the number of boys he can get into his bed (or his car, or wherever he pleases). He's been known to make a guy feel special for a while, then once he tires of that flavor-of-the-week, Brandon simply ignores him and moves on to another boy. I've run into eight guys online so far who have either slept with Brandon, or had an ex who did. And those are just guys on AOL. There aren't a lot of gay Atlanta teens using AOL, so I'd hate to see what the real number is.

Everywhere I turn gays, bisexuals, and faux-bisexuals (those of you that are reading that are truly gay, but are too scared to admit it to anyone, so you claim to be "bi" to be cool) seem to be just shrugging their shoulders and living their lives as carefree as can be. All too often, I run into teens that are just having sex with anybody their age that has a pulse and genitalia. These guys (and maybe even you) aren't looking for anything serious, just somebody to have sex with. It really doesn't matter who it is, as long as they seem cool and you can get off... and nobody tells a soul what happened. Isn't that pretty much how it goes?

Some days I wonder why I even bother logging in to the gay chat rooms. It's always the same thing: age/sex/location/cock size. I do have to admit, however, that I've met some great people online that are really fun to sit and chat with (and, of course, they all live about a billion miles away). But, it's a sign that there just might be an inkling of hope, not just for myself, but for all of the other guys out there that are also looking for something real.

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