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Troy N. Diggs

August 1998

July 16, 1998

"Well, we all have our problems. I'm real long, but not very straight."
-- Jim Lange, from the game show "Bullseye", on his golf game (yeah, right)

Those of you out there who are fans of the Mary Tyler Moore Show (and since this is going out to a gay audience, I don't think finding those will be that much of a problem) know that in the show, Mary was a fun-loving, upbeat kind of gal with one slight problem: she could never find a date that worked out. In the past, I've compared myself to "Mary Richards" in the fact that I share her spunkiness, but I also share in that last part, too. My dates almost never seem to work out.

Oh, I'll admit there have been some that went really well, and they ended up in pretty cool friendships. But, the thing is, that's all there ever is. My dates, good or bad, tend to go absolutely nowhere afterwards. Either I lose contact with them, or they purposefully lose contact with me, or both of us realize that "it's not going to work out." Within the last, oh, two and a half months, I've been on four dates that I can remember... one went well, but I haven't heard from the guy since... I really need to call him. The others have been almost near disasters.

The first one I can remember in recent memory was a nice guy in Memphis who had two major flaws: a fear of intimacy and not-so-great political views. The fear of intimacy came out to be blatantly when, at the end of our first date (yes, we had 2; the second was just because I'd left something down there the first time), I gave him a hug, and he said "O...K..." The political views came out when I made a comment about Republicans and he kinda took offense to that... and said he liked Pat Buchanan. Cross him off the list.

After that, I had a date with a guy here in Jonesboro. He was very nice, and we had a nice time riding around town and whatnot... no big deal, you know, just lunch and a leisurely drive. During the date, we'd said that the next day, we were both off so we'd go see "The Truman Show" together. I called his house several times, but got no answer. The day after that, I called and found out that he'd put both my number and my number at work on call blocker. I eventually found out that within a week after we'd gone out, he'd found a new boyfriend, which kind of pissed me off. Apparently, he didn't have the courage to tell me that he didn't think we "clicked"... and as for the movie, well, to me, if I say "We're going to see a movie tomorrow", then we're damned well going to see that movie tomorrow or I'll know the reason why. I've never been one to enjoy being stood up.

And, of course, my last real date was the worst. It was with a guy I'd met before, but only briefly... when I met him, he was a die-hard romantic. After we met, he'd send me these little romantic eMails and leave heartwarming messages on my answering machine. Then, we went out.

It was not good. Physically, he was not anything he said he was at all. What looked like (and he'd said was) a nice toned body was definitely not, and he just turned out to be a jerk. Our date consisted of me going to his house, us messing around for a bit, then us watching the Golden Girls and going to a crappy diner so he could get something to eat. That was it. I think we exchanged, oh, all of 10 words. Rather, I did all the talking, and he nodded as if to say, "Yeah, whatever."

So, I've pretty much decided to give up the dating scene. Me and Michael (who is my best friend, as if I hadn't mentioned him here about a million times) were talking about it on the way to Memphis last night for karaoke, and we agreed that, you know, I have had way much more fun going out with him and my other friends and having a good time than I have on any of my dates in recent memory. And that's what it's all about, fun. Mr. Right will be along eventually. I can wait.

eMail makes me happy! OK, well, not orgasmically happy, but you get the idea. Drop me a line at TDiggs@aztec.astate.edu, or visit my page at http://www.geocities.com/~tdiggs/. Toodles...


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