August 1998

"There is no future, there is no past, thank god this moment's not the last"
--Rent, Jonathon Larson ... May he rest in Peace ...

My month has been slightly full. I spent three weeks in New Mexico, at a place called Philmont. For those of you who are not boy scouts or don't know where that is, it is a boy scout ranch for hiking. I spent 10 days in the woods with seven of the hottest 14 and 15 year olds that I have ever seen! (They do not know that I'm gay and I want to keep it that way!!!) The park that I work at is filling up with hot boys.

If you read my first article you would have read that I have a lover, that I don't like. Well, to update everyone on this matter, I'm starting to like him very much. The only problem is that I can't find him. His parents kicked him out for something, I don't know what. He has now moved in with friends upstate and that is all I know. No address, no phone number, no nothing. My heart is in pieces as I write this. I miss him more that I ever thought that I would. Oh god, do I miss him. The reason that I found out that his parents kicked him out is that I was going over to his house. We were going to become boyfriends. Since nobody knew that we were even friends, no one bothered to tell me he had been kicked out. I know it wasn't because he told his parents that he was gay, because he could fool anyone into believing that he is straight.


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